Teen Poetry #4 |
For a little while... |
Hidden Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 18Lost in my own world |
For a little while... When I'm not in your arms tonight Look up at the sky above Pick a star and think of me Knowing we were meant to be. We'll be back together soon enough Until then times are tough We are strong, we'll make it through But I need to know you want this too. **What's meant to be will always find a way.** |
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© Copyright 2001 Renee - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I liked this one loads except in the first stanza you don't ryhme the first two words but in the second stanza you do... I was wondering if this was intentional or if the rymhe throught out was unintentional? Anyway great poem keep on sharing. Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
I had the same problem in reading it as zu, but overall i really liked the feel of it. Keep posting! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Great work, I didn't mind the unusual rhyme myself. The lack of meter makes this poem read through not with a wonderful flow or anything, but that is compensated by its size. I personally feel this poem is fine the way it is. Nice work. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i thought the rhyme of this is really what made this a wonderful piece, i like this a lot. the second staza was particularly fantastic. i like this piece, keep sharing your work with us. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was so sad ::hugs:: stay strong hun |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this poem and wish you the best of luck with the person you're talking about in the poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Way to look at things in life. Very positive thoughts. Keep it up. thanks for sharing I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
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