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Teen Poetry #4
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Strained Ties
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Strained Ties |
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Been waiting for something to break my heart So callous laiden, I can't feel a thing at all Will you catch my fall? Fear is keeping time, the beating of my heart I'm doing too much thinking It's tearing me apart I feel you reach for me I don't know where to start I haven't changed, card houses still cover my landscape Upon one's will, my protection comes down again My chains prevent me from reaching emotional freedom You are here, for me or you? Love is intrusive only when you don't want it I am here, for me or you? Castles made of sand slip into Sea eventually... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ewok Enterprise - All Rights Reserved | |||
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This one was good. It has a lot of truth. Keep posting! *~*Amanda*~* |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
ewoksters i like this alots! one of me favs by u. *hugs* cant wait to c mores hunnAy! i loves ya tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
yanno, when i read the title of i got this mental image of a tie, like one of those things you wear with a suit getting caught insomething and being strained. for some reason i was pleased to discover that no one else thinks the way i do, and the poem was not acutally about straining ties. i'm in a really weird mood. anyway, good poem, keep posting your work.  Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
Wow, i liked this one a lot. I thought it was going to rhyme, but it didn't, and that was more than ok. Great work! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Shyan Junior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 10Canada |
Hey, well this is pretty deep. Maybe thro our poetry stuff, we'll maybe get a bit of a better understanding of each other. How we think etc. You get the pic. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great jopb on the poem...i liked it lots...keep writing and hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The last two lines really had an impact on me. It's the lingering question that everyone at one stage asks. I liked the way it was written. Good on you. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I feel this wasn't your best, but I did enjoy the read. Keep them coming.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I personally thought that this poem has a chance to be great. The thoughts are there, but it feels like it's missing something. I'll let you now if I find the answer  thanks for sharing"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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