Teen Poetry #4 |
Acquerdo |
JoltPunk New Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 4 |
I cant dream your eyes this silence slices My nerves And I know Im dreaming in vain When the shadows rythmic dancing holds still breaths apon my heart Youve shot taller than I could keep up with I miss your touch and your eyes meeting mine for a time Strong fears siezed me You fell away Issues of control beat open her like an open wound and you fell in These lips of mine cant speak your name without the rest of me denying your presance The ghost you haunt still breaths in my ear reminding me that I will always love you Even when I am this far gone |
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© Copyright 2001 JoltPunk - All Rights Reserved | |||
Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! good poem. i really liked it and in some weird strange way can relate somewhat. hope to see you postin so more. San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions! This is a wonderful first post. It's true, you can still love someone even when they aren't with you anymore. You describe it well. Keep up the good work. ps-check your e-mail< !signature--> "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 01-23-2001).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hi there, and welcome to this wonderful world. I really enjoyed this poem. A bit dark and defnitely enchanting. Please keep posting. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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JoltPunk New Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 4 |
Wow, thanks so much for the responses. I really appreciate feedback on my poetry, and I found this place- perfect! Im very interested in reading other poetry also, so I thank you for taking the time to read it. ~*~Rachel~*~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this very much. Welcome to Passions! This was a very nice first post and hope to see you posting more of your poems along with contributing and relpying to other people's.......great job. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
A beautiful first post. I shall be the next to wish you a happy welcome and a wonderful stay. Thanks for sharing your work with us and thank you for opening up your heart to us. Best wishes and happy writing...~*~Jessica~*~ *the expected escape is only a portal to true devine Hell...leave that door alone* |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very good first impression.. hope you really like it here. Your style is very interesting, makes me intrigued. Welcome.... ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! Beautiful first post. You've expressed a very strong feeling of longing for someone on this piece What a way to start your experience in passions thanks for the read and keep sharing Welcome to your poetry family I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
i love it !!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW |
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