Teen Poetry #4 |
Don't |
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hey guys I havent really been around much lately, but I wrote this one last night and wanted to share it with you. Let me know what you think. Thanks. ~*Nikki*~ ____________________________________________________ "Don't" Don’t say something, if it’s not true. Don’t pretend to care, if I can see right through you. Don’t say you’re my friend, if you’re going to talk about me. Don’t try to open my eyes, if you can’t even see. Don’t stand by my side, if you’re just going to walk away. Don’t talk to me, if you have nothing to say. Don’t get my hopes up, if you’re just going to bring them down. Don’t try to make me smile, if you’re eventually going to make me frown. Don’t promise me something, if you don’t intend to keep it. Don’t ignite my candle, if you know it won’t stay lit. Don’t ask me something, if you don’t know why. But most of all-don’t tell me something, if you know it will make me cry. ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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© Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
~*brittt*~ Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76East Haddam, CT |
Nikki: Hey, I'm the first one to respond!Yay. Anyway, this is so sad. Like all ur poems, hun why are you so sad? I love you! (this poem isnt about me is it?) Anyway, cheer up and come 2 school 2morrow!! ~britt~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was really good work. "Don't" was a perfect title and the don't's through out the piece helped it along. hope all is well Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the ending of this piece gave me shivers, i'm adding this beautiful poem to my library as we speak. you did beautifully with this, i hope you'll be back here more, i like reading your work. keep posting Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Wow, man...this was so powerfull. Wonderfull...no...excellent poem! Keep up the good writing. Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!! i loved it..great poem..i enjoyed every verse in here...very moving poem..thanks for the awesome read nikki... ...? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-14-2001).] |
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*~valeria~* Junior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 10East Haddam, CT |
hey hun. this poem is soo sad!! but anyway like brit said you have to stop being so sad!! cheer up hunny! *~*~VALERIA~*~* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I like this, Nikki. However I felt the repitition was a bit overdone, even if it was only the first part of every other line. I think if you cut this down to the start of each stanza instead it would read through a lot better. Just my humble opinion. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Indeed....but yer tellin the guy how to treat you and that's good. Stand up for yourself....you deserve to be treated like a queen, grant it- you treat him like a king. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Thanks for the replies guys. Allan, I like this the way that it is and am not going to change it, but thanks for the suggestion. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is very expressive Makes me feel bad for you ~*hugs*~ Hope things get better "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
Rock on nikki i seriously have to say this is an amazing poem and i really love all that you write keep it up and if ya ever need a friend just call on me ok bye hun i love ya ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I really liked this one. I decided to send it to one of my "friends" and see what she thinks. We already have a problem anyway. Anyways, great job! *~*Amanda*~* |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was a really good poem. I really enjoyed it |
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