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Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land

0 posted 2001-05-14 08:59 AM


Life's devoid.
Screaming girls aspire for womanhood,
Paint their faces
Mask our haunting insecurity
Of rejection.

Cling to stone truths
Prophetic speculation of God and society
Derived from bedtime stories
Of bogeyman, heaven
Consequences of

disobedience


Head burst through stone,
Shattering divine dreams of

     enlightenment.
Scarring compliant face by  edged flint,
Witnessed infinite stretches of

         stone dead

humanity.

Through blood streaming down my face,
Laughed at all indifferent souls
Striving to achieve perfection, A*,


recognition.

Snared in their own personal tomb
Evading reality of

    
who we really are.


My  lone head   escaped an inflicted grave
Scenery of neverending slabs of

  grey

Depressing, but consoling.
Await for another, to aim for the sky

To

break


free.


''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

© Copyright 2001 Elusive^ - All Rights Reserved
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
1 posted 2001-05-14 09:07 AM


I enjoyed this poem.  You could clearly see the point and all. Yeah. Bye.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-05-14 09:35 AM


Hello and Welcome!   Please check your email for a special greeting   SEA
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
3 posted 2001-05-14 09:47 AM


Wow what amazing first post welcome to passions... this piece was great I really enjoyed the read. Certainly a piece for th library  
Mr Mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2001-05-14 12:52 PM


Whoa this kicked....library. Really enjoyed this.....yeah.....
  ~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-14 01:46 PM


Welcome to Passions!!

this is an amazing first post, one of the best first posts i've ever read.  you did a great job on this, i hope you stay for a long time and keep sharing all your work with us.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-05-14 02:39 PM


welcome welcom..i really liked this poem..very nicely written..and hope to see more a great first post...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
7 posted 2001-05-14 02:57 PM


Wow! What a comeback! Welcome back, great poem, no...wait...excellent!

I loved this one, keep it up.

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2001-05-14 02:58 PM


Doh!, I replied and then I saw the change of name thing   Great job on the poem!


"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

[This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 05-14-2001).]

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-05-15 03:33 AM


Great job on the poem and welcome to passions!
The format and style are interesting and I hope to read more from you!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-05-15 09:16 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!  

This was a very interesting format but i enjoyed reading it!! Keep em comin!

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
11 posted 2001-05-15 09:59 PM


Amazing first post.  I can't get over your style!  Keep posting!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-05-25 11:55 AM


I know I'm late, but still........

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Your writing reminds me of someone elses.  You have the same style and are using the same font.  The one I'm comparing you to, in my mind, is one of the best in Passions.  So, that's basically a big complimets    keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
13 posted 2001-05-25 12:17 PM


WOOOOOHOOOOO....oh and....WELCOME!!!
loved the first post!!!....if all your poetry is like this then all i can say is MORE!!!!!...MORE says i!!!!....very thought provoking stuff cant WAIT to read more!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
14 posted 2001-05-25 10:55 PM


                 welcome  

keep the great work comming k?
        *KiMMiE*

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
15 posted 2001-05-26 12:03 PM


hey,
i really liked this.  the first stanza was the best! welcome to passions.
-fear-

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