»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
It's True
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
It's True |
|
|
TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa 
|
Okay, so this I wouldn't call a really good poem, more like a mixed salad of feelings, but just think how you would feel if someone asked you since when are your two "best friends" your enemies...and you know nothing about it! But don't worry  ... I wanna shout, I wanna scream and tell you how I feel. I wanna kick, I wanna hit and make something unheel. I wanna break, I wanna hurt and make you feel the pain. I wanna crush, I wanna insult and do it over and over again. I wanna calm down, I wanna breath and tell you it's no lie. I wanna sit still, I wanna...who am I kidding, I wanna die. Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
||
| © Copyright 2001 TearsOfPearls - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
lol i loved the description of da salad :P twas cutish  o and btw i hope all works out with u and wuts this is about! *hugs* hollaw if ya needs to talks lol but the poem dude i liked it.....ive so been there..not the same situation but the feelings yes! u did a great job describin how u feel in this and i enjoyed the twist at the end very much  so three cheers for you! lolwoo hoo tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” "u say i only here wut i want too..." [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-12-2001).] |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
good job...i liked the wya you wrote it...it showed your point a little stronger....thanks for sharing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
i liked this, keep writing, ~AB~ *~"Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."~* |
||
|
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
Wow, yes, i've been there. I think the feeling behind this poem is what drives it, and with some revision, you might be more comfortable. Definetly post if you change anything! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
You can call it a poem or a tossed salad but i call it extraordinary!! Amazing job and i think we all feel like this every now and then...in my case more like a couple of times a day!! But excellent job!!! ::applause:: |
||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work, I really enjoyed this although i'm not sure about the salad??? I prefer cabbage myself... anyway good job on the poem... Mr mr Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
powerful ending, you caught me off gaurd with the last line. a think that it does have a great mixture of emotion and that you do a beautiful job expressing yourself. great job, keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Elusive^ Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18dancing fairy land |
powerful..very very powerful..like somebody blasting it 'in your face'..show it to people involved..keep posting (I vaguely remember you..from my last user name.."LaniDarkOne"..*waves* hello )''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..'' |
||
|
TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Heya everyone, thanks so much for your positive replies, I appreciate it... and heya Lani! Great to see you back Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I really liked the way you wrote this and especially the way that you ended it. Good work, and I can relate to the feeling. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yes it does seem like quite a dilema. I hope all is well with you soon. Great vent.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Hope you're not serious about the last line Very expressive poem keep it up hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
