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Teen Poetry #4
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the star
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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the star |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
a single tear rolls down my cheek etching a time worn path the path of misery and defeat of strife and wretchedness the struggles of this life we each face i close my eyes and let no more escape for this life maybe a time worn path but i refuse to shed any more tears i must appear strong and brave to prove that there's more to this life i open my eyes and see nothing but darkness this time worn path has conquered me for i carry the pain of the world on my shoulders i struggle to overcome but its too strong i break and the world crashes down at my feet i see a light appear before me shinning ever so brightly a star of hope for this time worn path a fragile light which glimmers and guides i follow this light to its resting place a place of nothing but hope and waiting i wait for the promise of the star a promise from the star of hope an elusive promise for this time worn path of a better world no longer trapped in darkness but this star of hope is only a guide a guide for me to follow to a place of hope and waiting “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for first time [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Wow! This is a denifte library piece. Its amazing work. Proaly your best so far. *two thumbs up* Regina |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
I loved it.....its my favorite so far! Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i loved every single word in here...maybe cuz i related to the whole poem...great poem....thanks for sharing....  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
I really liked the repetition of the "time worn path," very effective. This is really great. so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star |
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Tiff as you know this one rox. It's my new Fav by you. Great Writing  Castles made of sand slip into Sea eventually... |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i have read a lot of your work, and i have liked a lot of your work, but this is my favorite piece that you have written. this goes into my library and i look forward to reading more. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Ooh! My favorite of yours definitely! This poem so~ has the thoughtfulness to it that makes me admire lots of poetry that's sitting out there, and this one has that wistful feel to it that I absolutely adore! ^^ I love this piece... definitely, in my opinion, the one which appeals to me most so far... hehe ^^; It's almost wishful... Anyways, this piece reminds me of a few of the scenes from Chrono Cross... the whole thoughtfulness of it all has Schala's echo. ^_^ The flow of the poem is really nice... and it's something that's quite admirable. ^_^ Of course, my favorite part is still the whole thought-induction thing... that is just so neat. ^^ I liked this poem a lot... very dream-like and very thoughtful. Two things which definitely make it very enjoyable... and the fact that it was reasonably well-written is another major plus on its side... and it certainly makes it the favorite of all of your works so far... at least, of the ones I've read. Into the library it goes! ^_^v Take care! - holatuwol |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
To be honest I feel that you have done much better. I enjoyed it, but I know you can do better.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I believe you should stay with free verse. it's obvious that you are much better in these types of poems This is beautiful"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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