Teen Poetry #4 |
The Wood_Stock Collection : Across the Crowded Room |
Wood_Stock Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 58The little yellow |
-Across the Crowded Room- Mindless bodies wandering, With no clear picture of their destination. And air of confusion, I feel boxed in, Alone in the swarming mass. I see you across the room, A vast sea of commotion lies between us. We try to come together, braving the current. Eyes locked, space forgot, we are swept apart. I am drowned in this space, Sucked down into the murky depths. Pushed and pulled, as mindless as the rest. But, I know where I want to be. There is no consideration in the torrent, People are swept up and spat out. None the wiser, And what of us? Apart once more. Weaving upstream, three steps forward, two back, To be met with an angry glance by the oncoming mob. I don't care. I will find you again. For the world couldn't stand in my way. |
||
© Copyright 2001 Noel Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I've had many dreams, just exactly like this...very well done!! |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
written nicely on what you were getting at..i liked the last verses..very good job...keep writing... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This is one of the first poems ive read from you. Very discriptive language. POwerful. Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
||
TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Gee, I though this one was excellent, very well written, nice theme. Great job! Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
||
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
Great writing! Very fluid. Keep posting. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought it was good. I liked it! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |