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Teen Poetry #4
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anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo

0 posted 2001-05-12 01:39 AM


Yeah...um...I have never written a piece this honest before in my life. I have come to a realisation of some certain things. Please don't be too harsh on this one thanks.

~AF~


At an interview last week,
My principal told me I was sick.
Told me I had an eating disorder,
Told me I had to give it up.
Like I would have an eating disorder,
I truly love my food.
They'll all just jealous that they can't look like me,
I have the figure that they all want.
If perfection was a human being, that person is me.
"You can't stuff around with me, Elizabeth,
I know what you are up to."
What on earth am I up to?
I just like to exercise…
So what if I am conscious of what I eat?
So what if I don't eat when you see me?
I do not have an eating disorder!

Today I feel so cold,
I think they are tears running down my face.
I don't like this realisation,
Of seeing what I really am.
I'm sick…and yeah I'll admit it.
I don't know where I went wrong.
I am seeing J-Lo next to me,
Her arms are thinner than mine!
Reading through this web site,
All the signs are there.
I do skip meals and complain about my size,
Even though I am a size 8.
Arguing is my strong point,
I do get defensive if questioned,
And I do have an obsession with being the thinnest.

Why does it hurt when I look at my body?
Why do I want to lose weight all the god damn time?
Why is it that I hate myself?
Why can't I get this under control?
I did a test just now,
That even says I have an eating disorder.
I don't like this realisation,
Of seeing what I really am.
It's a dream.
Some stupid pathetic dream.
So many other factors are contributing to this,
My environment is why I am like this!

Who am I kidding?
It's my fault.
I have to fix this,
And pull myself out of this nightmare.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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1 posted 2001-05-12 01:49 AM


well..pointed thru this poem...i felt the apin..the sadness that also comes with it...i hope things get better eJ or have...this poem told so much and how you've written it shown me it...great job and keep writing...my friend.. ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Tamma
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In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
2 posted 2001-05-12 08:35 AM


OMG AF...This is sad...The guyz @ my school say that I'm anorexic...my biggest thing is that all the females in my family are rather small. But, I too, skip meals and complain about my size 3's not fitting me anymore. Its gotten to the point that I only eat 1 meal a day, and my size 5 jeans are starting to get loose around my waist. I'm not sure If I'm sick myself or if this is just one of my ups and downs things. Good luck...Keep me posted!

Those girls on TV don't know that being
36-24-36 doesn't mean a thing unless
you got the face to back it up

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
3 posted 2001-05-12 09:05 AM


this is so sad and must be painful to realise and then put into words.
hang in there you'll be fine you can get through it.
good luck!
katie

if you don't let them in they can't see the real you

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
4 posted 2001-05-12 01:11 PM


This is a really well voiced expression of a good deal of us girls.  It took a lot of courage to post this...keep writing!
Lakewalker
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since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-05-12 01:22 PM


Excellent job of telling this, I thought the poem was written very well.  I think it really showed your feelings.  I hope that you can work through this and be strong at fighting your illness.  Thanks for sharing this poem, I hope it can help others.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
6 posted 2001-05-12 01:59 PM


hey! I know where you are coming from, as I myself have been there. just stay strong...it's a hard thing to get over. well, you never really 'get over' it, but you can get past it. I wish you the best of luck.
Stace

IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING!!!

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-05-13 09:56 PM


I've been there to and like people have said..just stay strong...we're all here for you..and thank u for sharing this with us..
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
8 posted 2001-05-14 01:05 PM


this is incredibly powerful writing, this piece really hit me hard.  you did a wonderful job expressing yourself and your feelings.  this is a hard thing to deal with and you don't have to do it alone.  i have lost friends to this, please don't let it go too far.  i hope things get better for you, please email me if you need someone to talk to.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land
9 posted 2001-05-14 02:29 PM


my god..this hit home hard.
your writing is powerful.
though what you're going through is more than powerful.. email me if you want to talk..
ok?

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

10 posted 2001-05-14 03:17 PM


I've never read anything truer.  I'm a size 6, down from a size 12.  Since last March I've had a "situation."  At first everyone told me how stupid I was and that I wasn't going to loose weight, I was just hurting myself.  One person told me I wasn't impressing anyone, then proceded to  "hate" me later for it.  Some people have given up on me, some people have yet to try.  A guy today even grabbed my arm and said "You have those big anorexic wrists!"  I'm frequently called "Miss Anorexia" by one person.  I cannot tell you how many times I've been told to eat, or I was going to die, and how many times I've cried.  Through it all of course I smiled, argued, and backed my way out of it.  I've warned other people not to start this, not to skip one meal, because it's hell.  Living hell.  I know exactly how you feel, so if you ever need someone to talk to or just to listen, e-mail me(kat2000_kb@hotmail.com).  I'm sorry this happened to you
Bel

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
11 posted 2001-05-14 03:59 PM


I thought that this was really heartfelt and truthful.  Really sad too.  I hope you get the help that you need 2 get ya better soon, and try to remember that beauty is so much more than size.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Allysa
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In an upside-down garden
12 posted 2001-05-14 04:32 PM


I'm between a 5/6 and an 8 right now.  I only weigh about 115-120 pounds and all my friends (the girls) in my neighborhood weigh between 160-180.  Sometimes people, like my ex, Justin, call me anorexic because I don't eat a lot all the time.  It's just cause I'm not hungry at that given time.  Then other times, my friends get mad because I sometimes eat a lot and I don't gain any weight cause i have a fast metabolism. Anyways, good poem, and know I'm here for you af, we all are.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
13 posted 2001-05-14 05:52 PM


I can't really relate to this one coz I love my food too much but it was still a really good poem and well written. Good to see you writing about it, hopefully it helped to see the truth coming out of your mouth. Well goodluck with everything and keep your chin up, email me if you ever need to talk, kay?

Smiles,
ali

Heavens Tears
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14 posted 2001-05-14 07:28 PM


This one really hit me hard.  I'm gonna make this short, but please email me if you wanna talk.  I have found that talking really does help.

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Dana Samples
Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68

15 posted 2001-05-14 07:53 PM


hey. i know what its like to deal with eating disorders. i have one myself and have been fighting it for a year. i've lost 48 lbs. and still losing. i love the poem its really great. i just want peolpe to know that its not just about losing weight. it also come from depression and an obsession problem which usually come from the fact that your life is going out of control and you need something to control. a lot of people think that it only has to do with wanting to lose weight. thats not it at all. mine came from depression and the fact that i have the need to control things. i am here at any time anyone feels that they need to talk.

the poem was great nonetheless. keep it up.

Lots of love, dana

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
16 posted 2001-05-15 02:05 AM


I would just like to thank each and every one of you for your heartfelt replies.

They truly mean alot to me.  

Thank you once again.

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Dopey Dope
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since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
17 posted 2001-05-15 04:20 AM


You wrote this in a way in which you just can't escape the power of truth within it. Amazing poem in the sense that it really shows the public what people can face. This is going to be hard but you have to pull through when facing adversity. You can do it liz....MUA!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Marshalzu
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Lurking
18 posted 2001-05-15 09:41 AM


Wow truly amazing... the cold blunt facts presented astound the reader and leave he/she speechless trying to grasp the harsh reality that is presented. A sad read, an excellent poem. Hope you get through  
Mr mr Zu.

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
19 posted 2001-05-15 10:49 AM


This is really sad. I think realizing that it is a problem is a huge step. I hope things get better for you.This poem is great, and I think it could really help others out who might have the same problem. Good luck.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg
20 posted 2001-05-15 07:09 PM


You already know how I feel... I have replied to this poem a thousand times on MSN, but I want to raise this up a bit so more people can read it.     It's a good poem as well.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
21 posted 2001-05-15 08:06 PM


It will be alright.  Today someone said I was anorexic.  I was hurt, and had to take a second look.  What was wrong with me?  I don't understand.  I felt the pain from the poem when I started to read.  I can understand how you feel.  This piece was well written and realistic.  Keep up the great work.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front."
"You are special and unique in your own way." "Always remember compliments you received; forget about the rude

Acies
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Twilight Zone
22 posted 2001-05-22 01:27 PM


Just make sure you really aren't Lizzy.  Or else I'll go down there and feed you myself    

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
23 posted 2001-05-22 03:23 PM


Acire, the sweetheart. Sheesh. Great poem here...It's going in my library, fer lotta reasons...Keep it up...surviving, I mean...
~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

Heavens Tears
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24 posted 2001-05-22 07:22 PM


I just keep wanting to reread this poem.  I, too, know what you are going through.  I hve been there, bulimic and anorexic, and still am bulimic, sometimes anorexic.  Please, if you or anyone else here wants to talk, I'm here.  Also, Dana, you are so right.  People seem to think that the only reason you have this problem is because of your weight or something.  For me, it was a mix of weight and depression, as it is for most people.  I want to thank you again for wrting this.  

:HUGS:  to you all.  

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
25 posted 2001-05-22 07:46 PM


i hope you get through this....however horrible it may seem right now...the pain of it definately shows through in the poem...and believe me we can feel it...great job on the poem...but know this..anorexia can not just be fought on your own hunny...its not your fault...we're all here for you..if you ever need to talk email me: cherish010@hotmail.com

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
26 posted 2001-05-22 08:02 PM


     I realize I haven't posted in forever, and it'll be a long time till I ost again probably, but I need to say something on this.  I talk to so many different people with problems that anorexia can seem like nothinga t times, but is it - of course not.  It's one of the most serious problems that's comon among young people, and I really hope you get someone's help in correcting it.  Everyone who reads this that has an eating disorder - get someone to help you help yourself.  I realize I'm neve rmuch help to people, but I try to be, and I want people to be happy, so please.

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

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