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Teen Poetry #4
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DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255


0 posted 2001-05-11 08:18 PM


Looking into your eyes
Searching deep within your soul

Wishing to see that sparkle in your eyes once more
Hoping to find our souls still united

The sparkle that once danced in your eyes is dead
Finding no bridge to your soul not even a thread

I cry in your arms
Holding tight

Not wanting to believe
But forced to

It’s over
I must let go

Losing apart of me here with you
As we walk our separate ways

You said you would love me forever
But here we are wishing never to cross paths again

We couldn’t love each other anymore
No matter how much we wanted to

Our love had faded
forever gone

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

© Copyright 2001 Kat - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-11 09:54 PM


awesome detailed writing of your emotions and situation you were discribing..i felt it...great job and...keep writing..kat ..cya~... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-05-12 12:27 PM


awwws thats sayads but great writtins  
good jobs!  and hope everything bes okays with yous!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
3 posted 2001-05-12 01:32 PM


i really liked this, i thought it was good. keep writing,
~ab~

*~"Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."~*

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

4 posted 2001-05-13 04:04 PM


I liked this one.  It wasnt the best I have read from you, to be honest, but if a poem this good isnt your best, then you must be a good writer huh?

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-13 07:47 PM


the alternating line sizes worked really well in this piece, the format of this is very cool.  you did a wonderful job on this, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-05-13 10:42 PM


I love the alteration in couplet size here... that made a unique flow.     
Very nice work.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-16 03:48 AM


You did quite well with this, yet it was very sad. I hope you get well soon.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-05-17 11:54 AM


This was so sad...::hugs::
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-05-18 05:48 PM


Such an emotional piece
you've done well my friend
keep it up
~*hugs*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
10 posted 2001-05-19 12:43 PM


This is so sad.  The complexity of emotion you've expressed is quite well written.  Keep posting!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
11 posted 2001-05-19 02:03 AM


a very sad poem hun but i understand wut your feeling its cool hun no worries ok  if ya ever need to talk ya know my aim name *heh at the silly rhyme*  anywho you rock hun love ya *hugs*

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

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