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Teen Poetry #4
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Playing Friend
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Playing Friend |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA 
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i was going through my old poetry from teen forum #2 (ancient isnt it) and i found this one....it really meant alot to me so i decided to repost it... You do not seem to always be there When I am around you You seem to be in a dreamland With your Prince Valiant And not with me The one you know cares And when I am not around I feel like you just are playing Playing to be my friend When all you want to do is get my hopes up But, what if it works And you do get my hopes up Will you just drop them Like a brick from a building Or will you continue playing Playing to be my friend Is this just a game to you Are you having fun Or are you seriously being A great friend of mine Perhaps I will never know Unless I get the guts To be able to ask you And find out what is true. *Blonde people are normal. Everyone else is just strange. -Ender* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Richard Melick - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Sad when people play games like this, isn't it? Hope that everything worked out between you and your friend.  |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
wow, you've been a member for a long time. well i'm glad that you decided to start posting your work again, i am really enjoying it. keep posting, and great job on this  Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
Thanx banbury...life has been very hectic with school and until now, i havent had any inspiration for my poems....but i met a girl who has made my heart melt and giving me something wonderful to write about If I could be anything in the world, I would want to be your tear. I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your lips. -Ender |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
It's great to hear that you are writing again, and have joined us to share! This poem was great, but my critique would be that the lines led into one another as though they weren't seperate lines in some places. like "A great friend of mine Perhaps I will never know Unless I get the guts To be able to ask you And find out what is true." See how a few parts of this were single sentences that were broken mid-sentence to form more than one line? I didn't like that, and I don't like that in poetry, personally. Of course, that might just be me. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the poem. QUite old too! You found a treasure there hehe.....thanks for the repost!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
thanx dopey.... If I could be anything in the world, I would want to be your tear. I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your lips. -Ender |
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Voyce Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 13Colorado |
Pretty good. I like all the poems that you have posted so far. Keep up the good work |
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