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Teen Poetry #4
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-05-10 10:30 PM


In haze,
alone,
you recall
the days
of your prime.
With time,
your soul
has grown
and now, vexed
by old age,
you extend
your legs
and bend
under fate
like the letter “h”
and shake,
nerveless.
Unable to speak,
you squeak,
as you take
my weight
on your shoulders
and humbly diminish
until I finish
weaving
my evening
verses.

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 05-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-05-11 06:23 AM


Nice, Master. I never really looked at a chair like that before.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
2 posted 2001-05-11 10:09 AM


Wow what a wonderful poem and all about a chair... great work a piece for the library me thinks  
Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2001-05-11 01:21 PM


Incredible as usual. I do believe you can right about anything.

~Susie

~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-05-11 06:19 PM


I think you could also write about anything, if you tried hard enough.  
This one was very interesting, the format reminded me of "spring."  I like what you've been doing lately, it's some of the best I've seen from you because it is so very unique.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
5 posted 2001-05-11 08:36 PM


This form is really great, cheers for manipulating the words like that.

so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2001-05-11 10:58 PM


Great job of writing this ode!  Have you shared this with your chair?   Haha, sorry, just a funny image for me there.  Seriously though, excellent job on the poem.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-14 04:44 PM


Still an excellent read Master
keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-05-18 04:45 PM


I liked how this one flowed. The topic was unique. I really liked it hehe. ABout a chair? Geesh....that's something yu don't see all the time.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

dramaqueen22086
Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT
9 posted 2001-05-18 04:51 PM


I highly valued this section a lot…. I think you are a very good, writer, you should put some of your stuff in a book… and sell it I know I would buy it, if it were me….great job again
~!kellie!~

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