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Teen Poetry #4
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let me be
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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let me be |
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broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
why do you make it so difficult you push me away then want me back back and forth back and forth just make up your mind do you want me or not just tell me stop with the charades ill survive i can make it on my own but your killing me why do you make it so difficult just tell me and let me be "The sun in your eyes made some of the lies worth believing." |
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| © Copyright 2001 broken wing - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
you put a lot of emotion in this and you did a great job expressing yourself. this was a good piece and it shouldn't have so few responses on it. i would suggest replying a little more to everyone else so that you will get more feedback on your own work. anyway, good job on this, keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
here's another response. I can really relate to the poem, and i absolutely hate the way this problem makes people feel. sometimes i want to say to the person who creates this problem "either you want me or you don't" but i don't want to loose them. great poem.  I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish) |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I thought this was great and i could really empathise with you. Keep on posting.  Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice work. Repitition of the line "back and forth" emphasized its importance well. As for the emotions, I would like to say I know the feeling but being as unpopular as I am, I'm usually pretty sure how people feel about me. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Tangerines Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 22Richmond, Virginia |
This is powerful - lots of emotion behind it. I'm going to be anal and point out that in the line "but your killing me" it should be "you're." Other than that it's really good. "I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I know exactly how this feels. Well done on expressing the emotion of being taken and left by the same person over and over and over and over and over and over again.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Don't you just hate mixed signals  I see where you'e coming from show him this poem and let him know you wouldn't take it anymore good luck keep sharing I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
emotional and you expressed it well...i liked the poem itself...but the situation is a hard one...hope things work out for you i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
in all honesty, if someone is doing this to you, leave em. they aren't worth it. but I do like the poetry that results from it, lol. hope to read more soon  Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is great...I like the way you expressed yourself here ~SEA |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Ahhhh how annoying!!! i know what your goin through tho Hopefully this person will just make up their stupid mind and go easy on ya Good poem! |
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HVNsnt82086 Junior Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 30United States |
I love this poem. I thinkit expresses what we've all felt at sometime. It's about closure, right? You wrote it wonderfully, and I really enjoyed it! Keep 'em coming! "So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong, and you'll finally see the truth...that a hero lies in you." *~Mariah Carey- Hero~ |
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