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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-10 02:29 AM


A wretched plain of non-existence
co-founded by Himself
written off as a hoax
lost in times unforgotten
placed in depths of perception
conceived as the answer
to the beginnings of the end
forgotten by the masses
over ages untimable
knowledge long unheard of
prophecies never spoken
futures never seen
hidden in obscurities
locked in your subconscious

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-10 02:52 AM


i really liekd this one..tiff...great job and serious poems ...keep writing them... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-05-10 09:49 AM


No title ideas, sorry...
I like the poem though, had an interesting hidden meaning.     
Nice work, Tiff.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-10 12:53 PM


i dunno about a title, maybe hidden non-existence but then again i'm silly    you did a great job as usual on this, keep wrtiting and posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Tangerines
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 22
Richmond, Virginia
4 posted 2001-05-10 02:56 PM


This is - good. Intriguing. How about "Keyless" as a title?

"I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-05-12 11:34 PM


This is a little different from the ones i'm used to reading from your other poems.  But still another excellent write.  you are very talented and i suggest you keep writing  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
6 posted 2001-05-13 01:39 AM


I really like the meaning and the phrasing of this poem.  I am, however, no help at titles.  Good luck!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
7 posted 2001-05-13 09:00 AM


Ohhhh subconscious...I love anything that has to do with that, and I love this. Keyless sounds too much like Clueless..hehe...maybe Without Key? something like that. I don't know.
  ~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-05-17 02:27 AM


I really enjoyed this one tiff!
What a wonderful poem. I felt a lot of depth within this one. I appreciated the read....great job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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