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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-10 02:13 AM

afraid
scared to death
i hide from you
in the dark
where you cant see
cant see me

ill be safe
in the dark
you wont find me
i made sure this time
i escaped you
escaped death

i hide from you
in the dark
where you cant see
...but neither can i

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-10 02:53 AM

nice job i thought the way you wrote this one was quite creative...good job and keep writing..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-05-10 09:50 AM

Hmm... nice twist on the ending but it's not the greatest poem I've seen from you. It kinda lacked a little of the magic I'm used to reading.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-10 12:56 PM

The format of this was really neat and that made this an interesting read, but i felt like this poem just didn't have enough in it. i would love to see you write more poetry in this style though, i really like the way you wrote this. keep posting your writing

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-05-12 06:00 PM

You poems have shown me so much pain inside. And I do wonder why you hide from this particular person. Hope things to get better

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-05-13 09:35 PM

Oooo twisty...i like that!! It was a very intense poem which i love...my stomach is doin a weird thing now lol

great one here

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-15 01:22 AM

Don't be afraid tiff, i'm here

Well done on the poem. You expressed this well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

7 posted 2001-05-15 12:09 PM

Ooooh the last line was kinda spooky and mysterious! I like that!

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

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