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Teen Poetry #4
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the light swings
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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the light swings |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
the light swings flash a glimpse of your face gray...cold but its you i know its you who else has that face beautiful face flash i wence im looking into hell the face your face no expression...bleak beautiful face face of hell flash so beautiful even now cold...so cold face of hell beautiful face lifeless face of death the light swings flash ...three seconds flash ...so slow flash ...too soon o God cold lifeless your face beautiful face face of hell face of death the light swings “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” U in the dark u in the pain u on the run Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
wow tifferz that poem was awesome. i liked ur imagriy i know i can't spell  but it was good all the same can't wait to read more by u loves ya from meas u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Imagery. And yes, there was good imagery. GREAT imagery. I love this poem... it's probably the best one I read all day. It's the first of the day to enter my library. The swinging light was such an awesome idea to contrast with the rest of the poem. You described it so well, it was very dark and I loved everything about it. Namely the way you said "flash" at the start of some stanzas and that second last stanza blew me away. Incredible work here, I can't praise it enough. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome imagery...you have showed me thru this poem..i think you wrote thsi very well...great poem...and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I'm with allan on this one, this may be my favorite poem by you. i really love the images in this one and you wrote it beautifully. a poem that will definetely grace my library  keep posting all your work.Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Groovy Tiffopolis This one is good..... words bring this one to reality in my mind Keel Castles made of sand slip into Sea eventually... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
The way this is written is really cool, good job on writing it! "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Amazing read Tiff I seem to be going thru a lot of your poem lately hmmmm..... you must be sharing 3 everyday that's good, take advantage of it  we'll be here to read em thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was extremely well done. I really enjoyed this one Tiff. Wow.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
*bump*ing this.... to get a few more peeks. Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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