»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Thoughts Within My Head
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Thoughts Within My Head |
|
|
AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
I know its bad but tell me what ya think. The silence is so deafening and the darkness all too blinding, as I sit searching for the answers but more questions are all I'm finding. Though easier to just give up my search for truth must be resumed, and seperation of what appears to be lies or the simply assumed. Morals are lost in the madness but right and wrong I can't confuse, the spirit of death holds out his hand but to give in now I must refuse. All though I'm all alone in this room Demons of my mind surround me, waving their fingers in my face and giving me the third degree. Closing my eyes to make it stop then opening them to mark the start, of my quest to make the voices stop and to gain back control of my heart. ~alicia |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Oooooh there was some suspense here which really added to it. I like.  ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"of my quest to make the voices stop and to gain back control of my heart." i really liked this as i enjoyed the whole poem thruout but those last verses were nice..great job and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i liked the way you ended this piece and i liked the wording throughout, you wrote this beautifully. you did a wonderful job on this, keep psoting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I did like the technique you used in this poem, it is very admirable. I must eternally compliment you on your inate technique. The feminine rhyme in the first stanza was very nice... I love those things.  Keep posting your poetry, I have no critiques on this one. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
oo oo oo oo *jumps up and down* i loved this poem ali you rock royal booty anywho i love you ali keep up the amazing work ok *kisses and hugs* ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
What do you mean you know this is bad??? It's not bad at all!! I actually thought it was very good |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
as a poet you seem to be on the right track you have your own style which makes you unique well, i should -- duh to me  I did enjoy reading your poem a lot thanks for sharing and keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very well done here. I fully enjoyed the read!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great poem, I really enjoyed the read, well done... Keep on sharing.Marshal Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
||
|
Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Not a bad piece but I must just make a small remark on the rhythm as at times it was out of beat with the last verse and I had to read it again to work out the rhyme. Other than that not bad at all! ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
