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vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-05-09 10:18 AM

Hey guys I was bored so I tried to write a poem in the form that Kellie (dramaqueen22086) used in her poem "All Alone". I really liked the way hers sounded and wanted to make one simlar to it. Well, this was written in less than 5 min. so take that into consideration when you read this. Thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit on the ground,
Ground so velvety green with grass,
Grass so damp with Spring's dew.
Do you know what I think?
I think about you,
You and your greatness,
Greatness so superior to that of anyone else.
Anyone else fails in comparison.
In comparison nobody else exists.
Exists in my mind, are thoughts so true.
True to me,
Me knowing that things are right.
Right here on the velvety green grass,
Grass so damp with Spring's dew.
Do you know?
No, you don't.

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

ScarletPoetess
Junior Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 18

1 posted 2001-05-09 10:41 AM

The images of the dew in the piece are wonderful. I liked the way you used them. This is very well written. Good job.

Scarlet

I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

2 posted 2001-05-09 12:15 PM

The imager is wonderful in this and i really like this formoat, very creative interesting. i always like reading your work, don't ever stop sharing all your poetry with us

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-05-09 12:42 PM

This was good. It is quite a creaive technique that you have used. By the way, don't write "cough, cough this sucks" as your subject line. It's very misleading...

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

4 posted 2001-05-09 01:01 PM

Hey this is really spiffy! I like the style

very nice work!

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

dramaqueen22086
Member

since 2001-05-05

Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT

5 posted 2001-05-09 01:54 PM

hey nikki,
that was really good, thanks for saying my name you didn't have to but it was cool. i think you are my fav. poet and you didn't even know it.... lol...

im a funny one. well i thought it was really good, keep writting.
~!kellie!~
~ never floow the yellow brick road~

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

6 posted 2001-05-09 02:40 PM

this wasnt my favorite by you..but it was cool to try a new style. THAT BABY IS SOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!
*KiMMiE*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-05-09 03:48 PM

i really liked the imagery in this poem..great job..and keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

8 posted 2001-05-09 05:32 PM

Thank you 4 taking the time 2 reply.. I really dont like the way this one came out 2 much, but I think I might try experimenting wtih this form some more. Just dont expect any extraordinary works, lol

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone