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Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-05-08 07:56 PM

My mind is stained with memories
and questions that burn in many ways.
No matter how hard I try to undo it,
the stain just won’t go away.

I despise the questions, the ambiguity;
they won’t get out of my way.
The stain, it annoys me so,
both at night and in the day.

I try to clean it, then just ignore it,
but it taunts me day by day,
harassing me with December memories
of a yesterday so far away.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

[This message has been edited by Suga_Baby (edited 05-09-2001).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-05-08 07:58 PM

wow......great poem!

SEA

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

2 posted 2001-05-08 08:00 PM

i like this one too..i always like poems by u

sea always has so many words hehe...(dont worry neither do i)
*KiMMiE*

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-05-08 08:31 PM

I like the internal rhyme of a few of the lines in here...
I also liked the idea of a "stain." Nice work.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

artemis_selene
Junior Member

since 2001-05-07

Posts 14
virginia

4 posted 2001-05-08 08:59 PM

i like your analogy with the stain and the memory too. maybe instead of annoying, you could use a stronger word? other than that, very snazzy!

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

5 posted 2001-05-09 09:43 AM

This was really cute.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

ScarletPoetess
Junior Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 18

6 posted 2001-05-09 10:38 AM

The rhyme scheme in this piece was awesome. It helped the flow tremendously. Wonderful work. I can't wait to read more.

Scarlet

I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

7 posted 2001-05-09 10:52 PM

this kinda reminds me of the time we were babysititng scottie and i get that danged evil pizza sauce on out shirts *fromws* but great work

LOL

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

8 posted 2001-05-09 10:56 PM

I liked this.i can relate to it. good job.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-05-10 03:31 AM

wow!!..great job on teh poem..i really enjoyed this read..keep writing..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

10 posted 2001-05-10 11:04 AM

The opening to this piece was really strong and drew the reader right into this piece. great job on this piece, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-05-12 05:56 PM

Sara --- you are getting much better each time i read you poems. Keep it up. Hope things to get better for ya.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

12 posted 2001-05-16 07:35 PM

Well done here! I really liked this a lot!
W0h00!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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