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Teen Poetry #4
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dramaqueen22086
Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT

0 posted 2001-05-08 05:05 PM


hey peeps i think i'm getting the hang of it, you ppl out there are a whole lot better then me, but i'm doing this for fun... i hope you like it, it's not to good, but oh wellz...

I’ve cried so many long hours
Until I cried no more
The tears so moist, the pain I’ve felt
Until I cried no more

The day you said I love you
I wiped my tears away
Until you left me on that dark cold day
I asked so many questions
Like why you want away
I cried and cried for hours
Until I cried no more

The tears that said I miss you
Soon went far away
I cried and cried for days
Until I cried no more

The days went by slowly
My tears slipped away
I cried and cried for years
Until I cried no more


© Copyright 2001 :sunshine: ~!kellie!~ - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-05-08 05:07 PM


this is heartfelt and touching.....I think you did a great job  
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-08 05:07 PM


you are good and you said you never wrote,hey!i thought this was great the repitition worked well...throughout the poem..and gave it a nice sound..i liked it..and keep sharing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2001-05-08 05:12 PM


Hun, I hope ur not crying anymore!! (and ya got chris so why would ya be?) This is really good, dont dis your work.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

dramaqueen22086
Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT
4 posted 2001-05-08 05:12 PM


hey i'm just trying out some new stuff like the smiles and stuff,   , ,  
ok i think i did it right, ~!kellie!~

ezbc132
New Member
since 2001-05-08
Posts 3

5 posted 2001-05-08 06:32 PM


very good.


ezbc132

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
6 posted 2001-05-08 06:34 PM


wow kellie  this is another awsome peice..you really got sum talent (your good at everything ya do)  hehe dont cry..ya got chris  
             *KiMMiE*

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
7 posted 2001-05-08 06:51 PM


Very cool...  I can totally relate to that.  It had a really cool sound, great job!  I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff.  You're an awesome poet, and don't ever think anything different than that!  

      - Cody -

Living From Memories
Living From Thoughts
There Are Some Things In Live
That Cannot Be Taught

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-05-08 08:21 PM


Nice work... I like the way you repeated most of a sentence but changed the unit of chronological measurement.     I thought that was clever.
Great poem overall, but I still like the other one better.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
9 posted 2001-05-09 10:20 AM


well no one starts out writing amazing poetry, it is by writing and reading other poetry that people get better at it.  i'm glad you are writing now, you have talent and i enjoy reading your work.  i hope you keep posting all your writing.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-05-10 10:02 PM


Poetry should be something fun and that you enjoy...I think you did a great job  
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-05-13 04:15 PM


Your poetry does show a lot of emotions in em.  Hope things are better for you now. be strong

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-05-17 08:48 PM


Well done, I felt a lot of emotion in this one. I hope to read more from you!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
13 posted 2001-05-17 09:39 PM


I love the theme you have here; it ties the poem together very nicely.  Wonderful job, keep posting!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Shyan
Junior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 10
Canada
14 posted 2001-05-17 09:56 PM


I like, I think its just great.
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