Teen Poetry #4 |
until i cried no more |
dramaqueen22086 Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50Hadlyme, CT |
hey peeps i think i'm getting the hang of it, you ppl out there are a whole lot better then me, but i'm doing this for fun... i hope you like it, it's not to good, but oh wellz... I’ve cried so many long hours Until I cried no more The tears so moist, the pain I’ve felt Until I cried no more The day you said I love you I wiped my tears away Until you left me on that dark cold day I asked so many questions Like why you want away I cried and cried for hours Until I cried no more The tears that said I miss you Soon went far away I cried and cried for days Until I cried no more The days went by slowly My tears slipped away I cried and cried for years Until I cried no more |
||
© Copyright 2001 :sunshine: ~!kellie!~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is heartfelt and touching.....I think you did a great job |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
you are good and you said you never wrote,hey!i thought this was great the repitition worked well...throughout the poem..and gave it a nice sound..i liked it..and keep sharing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hun, I hope ur not crying anymore!! (and ya got chris so why would ya be?) This is really good, dont dis your work. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
dramaqueen22086 Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50Hadlyme, CT |
hey i'm just trying out some new stuff like the smiles and stuff, , , ok i think i did it right, ~!kellie!~ |
||
ezbc132 New Member
since 2001-05-08
Posts 3 |
very good. ezbc132 |
||
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow kellie this is another awsome peice..you really got sum talent (your good at everything ya do) hehe dont cry..ya got chris *KiMMiE* |
||
CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Very cool... I can totally relate to that. It had a really cool sound, great job! I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff. You're an awesome poet, and don't ever think anything different than that! - Cody - |
||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice work... I like the way you repeated most of a sentence but changed the unit of chronological measurement. I thought that was clever. Great poem overall, but I still like the other one better. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well no one starts out writing amazing poetry, it is by writing and reading other poetry that people get better at it. i'm glad you are writing now, you have talent and i enjoy reading your work. i hope you keep posting all your writing. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Poetry should be something fun and that you enjoy...I think you did a great job |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Your poetry does show a lot of emotions in em. Hope things are better for you now. be strong "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done, I felt a lot of emotion in this one. I hope to read more from you! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
I love the theme you have here; it ties the poem together very nicely. Wonderful job, keep posting! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
Shyan Junior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 10Canada |
I like, I think its just great. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |