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vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-05-08 04:40 PM

Stomp up the stairs and enter my room,
Slam shut the door to my protective tomb.
This is my haven,
my escape.
The only place I can hide from the hate.
It's the one place I can really be me,
my miserable eternity.
Without control,
the tears explode,
My walls-the only ones that know.
I cry a river around my bed,
the moat which encircles by life of dread.
This is where I go,
to get away from the pain.
But the way it all comes out,
is driving me insane.
This is the story of my life,
This is my cage.
If you're brave enough to proceed,
Dare to turn the page.
The walls which seclude me,
make me feel safe.
They keep me away from what I cannot escape.
It's a dang good thing that these walls can't speak.
For if they could,
my secrets might leak.
Here I speak what I cannot say,
my secret place where I wish to remain.
This depression robs me of my creativity,
and the silent walls absorb my negativity.
But this is the way my life was meant to be.

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-08-2001).]

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-08 05:10 PM

interesting of how you wrote this..i liked it from the discription of this place as showing it dark..i really enjoyed the read...keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

2 posted 2001-05-08 06:35 PM

good job nik, we live in our rooms..hehe all good and same here...if my walls could talk! hehe
*KiMMiE*

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2001-05-08 07:13 PM

maybe instaed of going into your room, you could go outside.....get some fresh air....but yes, I remember when my room was my safe place away from everyone....now that I have 3 kids, it is again! LOL

SEA

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

4 posted 2001-05-08 07:23 PM

I really liked it. The only thing I would possibly suggest is your rhyme pattern could be different. It seemed like you started out rhyming and then stopped. Unless that was intentional, but I dont know. I really liked the overall poem though. That just happened to catch my eye. Keep posting!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow. I feel kinda sorry for it...

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-05-08 07:25 PM

I love it, but I do agree with Sea though, why not go catch your breath

Amazing job, you are very talented. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-05-08 08:28 PM

I can completely relate to this poem. Completely! I spend "too much time" in my bedroom... people always ask me why I never leave. Is it so bad just to be an anti-social person? All that I want is to be left alone to do as I please in my own privacy... online... in poetry... y'know...
So yeah, I think I know how you feel. If my room had a fridge and a can, I'd never leave.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

7 posted 2001-05-08 08:59 PM

Thanks for the replies.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

8 posted 2001-05-09 10:32 AM

I'm weird about my house, i actually don't spend much of my time in my room, i spend all my time in the kitchen with the food

i loved the description in this, poems that create great images are my favorite kind of poems, i like this a lot. keep writing beautiful poetry.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

ScarletPoetess
Junior Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 18

9 posted 2001-05-09 10:35 AM

This is a great poem. I understand what you mean. I spend all my time in my room, becuase I know if I step out of it, I'll just get ridiculed by my parents about everything I do. Nice post. I liked the read.

Scarlet

I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

10 posted 2001-05-10 09:55 PM

This was absolutely amazing....::aplauds:: I thought this was just an excellent way of expressing your feelings...well done!

takemeawaytoday
Junior Member

since 2001-04-30

Posts 13
Missouri

11 posted 2001-05-13 10:35 PM

I love your poem. It really tells how I try to excape the world of problems I face everyday. Keep up the good work.
Jen

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

12 posted 2001-05-18 02:35 PM

Wonderful job on this poem. I know how it feels. I always escape to my room....funny thing though....i don't have one anymore hehe. I live in like 20 different places....well..i will be in a week.
Anyhow, well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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