Teen Poetry #4 |
dreams of red(my poem about scarlet, a great friend of mine) |
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i see the hurt of one i love. i reach out and touch, to make all better. i feel the pain of one i love. i wish your world was better. dreams of misty red i see, when people try to hurt you. thoughts of brutal protection, when people try and make you sad. cant wait till the day, when i can give you a hug. make you realize, that you are loved. i wish to hold you, girl of crimson to make life grand for one i love. then never again will people harm you. never again will people mock. never again will people kill your thoughts. never again will you be alone, if i was there. oh, girl of red how i wish i was there. to make you see, how much i truely care my girl of red. my girl of crimson. my friend for life. my life holder. i see her standing, in a corner trying to break free. wishing i was there. my girl of red. you should know that its you... my scarlet, dream i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is very sweet! I really enjoyed it a lot, the "girl of crimson" thing was very clever and poetic. Nice work! She'll melt! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This is really sweet and cute. I hope that you get the chance to show her how much you care. Good work. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
you used a lot of different techniques throughout this piece, i really like this a lot. this was really sweet and it's beautifully written. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Aww Ben thats so sweet! You are a great friend and that is a great poem. Good job hun, take care. |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, this poem was pretty kool. in social studies we're watching Gone With The Wind, and crimson made me think of Scarlett for some reason...pry cuz they're both red. well wasn't that a nice little toppic change? Anyway...i seriously liked the poem, and whoever the girl is she's pretty lucky! -fear- |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
awwwww ben i hope shes cs this...this is just great! *hugs* i love you tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
heyz ben i loves u too. and likes i am lucky to have u as a friend as that other chick said. thank u *hugz* from me Scarlet |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sweet poem i liked the way you have written this ...keep writing... :exorist:...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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5_sweet_kisses Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49 |
aww ben.. that was great!! i hope scarlet see's this .. she will love it..I LOVE YOU BEN!! *hugs* bye bye now |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
*whispers* hey edith scarlet bes sleepAy ups theres*points* lols *hugs* loves yalls *licks alls of yas* lols tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done....very sweet. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
Ben you are so much better at writting than me! |
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~*brittt*~ Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76East Haddam, CT |
I really liked this. peice. It was very well written. I hope whoever this girl is, she knows how much you care about her. This poem was so sweet. ~britt~ If you live to be 100 years old, I want to live to be 101 so I never have to live a day without you. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
it worked good for you "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
:O *likes it* very flowing..i like how it changed form "girl of crimson...girl of red" to "my girl of crimson...my girl of red"..nice one, bennerz! ~Anna *waves* |
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takemeawaytoday Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 13Missouri |
i really loved the poem it made me realize a lot. i kind of wish that i was scarlet at times so people wouldn't hurt me anymore.. |
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