Teen Poetry #4 |
Bitter Mad.... GRRR! LOL :Þ |
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
I cannot help but wanting What we once had And I’m the one it’s haunting Makes me go mad It’s oh so very taunting How fast it went bad And the happiness you’re flaunting Makes me bitter mad |
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© Copyright 2001 Sara - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice rhyme scheme... if you like restricting yourself to only two rhymes per poem (as you did in this one) then I think maybe you should try the villanelle format, it's very fun to do and extremely rewarding. Plus it's catching on lately. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
yea..the rym worked well...it gave the poem a nice flow..and i enjoyed the poem...keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Hacas Junior Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 25 |
Nice poem sug! Keep up the good work! *cheers* Allan: I agree with you, the villanelle format is really fun. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Yup, VILLANELLES!!!!..LOL. they are great, tough, and as allan said, very rewarding..well this poem seemed pretty simple and basic..easy rythme scheme, but it was good. -Jeff |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
i agree with everyone...it was a good poem...keep writing! *KiMmIe* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done! Very well done! I really liked the way this poem flowed. You did wonderfully on this one. Hope to see more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Well done! It seems like this would be difficult to only use two rhymes, but you did very well. Nice work! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Ahh.. double post. Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 05-06-2001).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Ahh! Triple post.. so sorry Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 05-06-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
.......... if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
good expression of your feelings Sara. I just wonder when you are gonna move on You know I'm here if you need to talk "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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