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Teen Poetry #4
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St. Peter
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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St. Peter |
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Dark Omega Junior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 17SC, USA |
Ben, back, after a long time. Sorry, I haven't put much effort into poetry lately, but here's a shortie. At the pearly gates of heaven to St. Peter I will tell Ben reporting, sir I've served my time in hell "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work . . . I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ben Boswell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hah, cute! I did like it! I think you might add a couplet at the end to wrap it up though? Just a suggestion.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
LOL, I liked this one. It sounded kinda like a line you'd hear in some military film! Good job here. It seemed quite casual. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Haha! Cute! I like this.. thanks for the laugh  --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great! I really thought this was good! Well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Dark Omega Junior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 17SC, USA |
Hey, guys, thanks for the compliment. Actually, I DID hear something LIKE it on a military film.... "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work . . . I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
hey this was cute.....i like good jobDont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hehe thats cute..it sounds like one of those ryhmes that kids in catholic school say... aww..nevermind lol *KiM* |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Hey Chicobob! Was this supposed to be funny..cuz.. hmm nevermind. Am I still a "Goddess?"  Bel |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
CUTE POEM HERE BEN gave me a good chuckle!!  :<  :{:}:[:]~ Jeff ~ :) |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
hahah cute ben come around more boy....like u have no time for poerty!?! just write some in psycho spanish class! hahaha i liked ur poem good job!~jObEtH~ |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Hehe, I liked that one. Short and amusing. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Really cool. Don't see many like this round. Totally cool. ~First they tell you, you can’t sleep alone in a strange place, then they tell you, you can’t sleep with somebody else~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i read the poem and then i read everyone's replies and i have to say that i'm lost. i didn't think it was funny at all, i think the way you ended this prevented me from seeing it in that light. i did think that it was clever and i would like to see you expand on this if you have the chance. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
*evil laughter* I agree w/ Peter(banburycross). What can I say? Bel [This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 05-07-2001).] |
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