»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
As I say goodbye
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
As I say goodbye |
|
|
takemeawaytoday Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 13Missouri |
Trying to find the words to say Looking into your eyes As I say goodbye Hugging you Telling you "I love you" As I say goodbye Smiling Laughing Trying not to cry As I say goodbye Walking out the door Looking back at you As I say goodbye |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Jenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Aww.. so sad  I like this poem. The repitition is nice. Well done. --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Ah, interesting. I like the reuse of the last line for each stanza... well done.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Good writing here. You have conveyed something which is often difficult to convey in a rather short poem. That is definitely to be admired. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Quite the sad poem here, but very good to read. I felt you did well on this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
it's so sweet!! you should write more stuff like this!! it's really awesome, keep it up  Stace [This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (edited 05-05-2001).] |
||
|
Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
This was short and sad but I really enjoyed this. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." ~Anonymous [This message has been edited by Low Man's Lyric (edited 05-05-2001).] |
||
|
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
ya know what..why do they call it GOOD bye THERE IS NUTTIN GOOD ABOUT IT urgh (i wrote a really cheesey poem bout that once lol) neways...good job! i liked it! *KIM*MIE* |
||
|
Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
I liked this, goodbyes are so hard. keep writing, ~ab~ *~Why are goodbye and I'm sorry always so eaisly pronounced but so hard to say?~* *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
||
|
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
a very beautiful poem jne i loved it very much and i love you to hun i hope your life continues to be great and awesome i will pray for you every day and i will never ever forget you jen you are a mahor part of my life *gives jen a big love filled hug* i love you jen more then ya know bye ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
you wrote this beautifully and made this powerful and emotional in a very few words. this is truly excellent writing, thank you for the read. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this is so sad :*( but very well written, great work! *Justine* -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
||
|
Lovely_Kris Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176 |
this is really good. I think it flowed nicely and keep up the great work. Hope to read more. Lovely_Kris |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Why are you saying good bye? Sorry, had to ask that Hope things get better thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
