Teen Poetry #4 |
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Summer nights |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
darn, that english stumped me:thining:BUT one good thing came outta this! i wrote another poem! ![]() Summer nights, salty breeze You ride by I wave, you smile My hair is curly from the salt Waves crash Your music blares Darkness, moonlight You ride by The moment still, everything stops There is sand on the porch Waves crash Our eyes lock for that split second Summer nights, curly hair Moonlight, sand You ride by while the waves crash I wave, your music blares, you smile Our eyes lock, the moment is still |
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© Copyright 2001 ethel lahootie - All Rights Reserved | |||
ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
oops! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I like the phrase "the moment is still." I really like that... what a perfect tone to end the poem on. ![]() See you around, Ethel. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on this one. Very good read! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Nicely done! I enjoyed this a lot.. Good work! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
ooh!! I esp like the last stanza...that was really good! ![]() Bel |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
thank ya much ppls! |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Ooooo....the last stanza was amazing. The style of the poem is awesome. I love it. 2 thumbs up for you ![]() "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I like this one ![]() |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hey this is really cute..Sounded innocent and sweet. I like it. ![]() ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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