Teen Poetry #4 |
327 |
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Three hundred twenty seven blocks in the walls of this world the walls of a world opposite of heaven this hell two hundred ninteen tiles in this room the world few have seen i finally fell fifty two fifty two inmates here not much to do the silence swallows the loudest yell ten at least ten searches a day grab the wall and get searched again this is hell one only one mistake lost my fresh air and sun I finally fell one thousand three one thousand three steps to mess hall another part of me lost in the well I wrote this a few days after I got out of jail. april 30th I think. I think you can get the general idea of what it's about. "It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ< |
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© Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
i liked this...i cant really say whut i liked bout it but i liked it. i liked how the #s tied it all in together. good job. ~jO~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
discription of days were..great!.. i liked the way you wrote this...well done. keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice poem.....good to see you back! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
Humm……..chocolate |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well i'm glad that you're back, we've missed your writing. i thought you did a great job with this, i liked the structure and the description throughout. i hope to read lots more from you. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Jail.... hmmmm.... thats chill. This was awesome stuff. I missed your posts!! hope to see lots more! Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Very visual poem....sorry you were in jail.... |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is an amazing poem. The way you began each stanza with the numbers and ended them all with rhymes was awesome. This poem rocked. Nice work. --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Great poem, the numbers make it really powerful |
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