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AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

0 posted 2001-05-01 07:23 PM

Hey, I know this one doens't make any sense but tell me what you think!!

The masks that we wear
and the lies that we share
are the reasons we cry for everything
and the reasons we cry for nothing.

We see a stranger in the mirror
and the reflection seems to be clearer
when our hearts are closed
and our eyes are exposed.

The whispers we hear hurt less
than the truths we secretly possess
and the shadows are less artificial
than the human's sense of superficial.

A diamond shimmers less
than a tear shed in regress
and the cries are easier to ignore
than the fake laughs we bore.

But the feelings simmer deep within
of the torture of our intentional sin
and the regrets of not regretting
the purposely upsetting.

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

1 posted 2001-05-01 08:09 PM

wow!!!! i really liked this one...expecially the 1st stanza...bravo!!!
*KiM*

"i once asked my daddy, daddy, are we going to the moon, and he said, we cant get to the moon from where we are" ~ME (hehe this actully happened to me

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

2 posted 2001-05-01 10:01 PM

thanks

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-01 10:15 PM

You're use of symbolism is working well within the poem. I encourage you to harness that....work on it a lot because you could be great at it....I enjoyed the poem in general and thought you did fine.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

4 posted 2001-05-01 10:39 PM

Humm……..chocolate

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-05-02 09:52 AM

Wow!! this is definetlely a piece for my library. i thought you did an excellent job on this and the thoughts you put in this piece are really incredible. great writing, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-05-03 05:16 PM

Very nicely done, Alicia! I enjoyed this. The flow was very nice and the rhyme scheme was excellent! I really like the first stanza, it's so true. It's amazing how so many people want to cover up and put on a mask becuase of the one thing they don't like about themselves, but everyone else loves. If that makes any sense, heh.
Very nice work. This is an excellent read.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

7 posted 2001-05-03 05:29 PM

thx alot

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

8 posted 2001-05-08 01:41 PM

wow amazing ali i really liked it *hugs* i love you ali hun keep up the awesome work

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

9 posted 2001-05-08 01:42 PM

wow amazing ali i really liked it *hugs* i love you ali hun keep up the awesome work

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

10 posted 2001-05-08 01:47 PM

Hey,

This is a excellent poem I adore it the rhyming is great I think I will *click* put this in my library. Until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

11 posted 2001-05-08 05:01 PM

Wow!! This did make sense to me, and I really liked the rythm to this one! Excellent work, it deserves a spot in my library!

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-05-18 02:24 PM

It actually make a lot of sense
You have shown a lot of truths in lif on this piece
thanks for sharing
and keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

13 posted 2001-05-19 04:08 AM

ali, sorry im gettin a late start on this hun

newayz.....i loved this. i thought u did a wonderful job on it! and i loved the flow and all....i just liked everything about it! lols im addin this to my library!
great job! and cant wait to c mores

love ya muchs ali!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I want to look into your eyes and see you smile at me
I want to hear you say "Well done"

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

14 posted 2001-05-19 09:02 AM

This was very good! I am late as always, but better late than never. I really think you have talent, and listen to Dopey, he knows what he's talking about.

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

15 posted 2001-05-20 10:43 PM

I thought this was an amazing poem!! What do you mean this doesnt make n e sense?? I loved it!! Especially this first stanza :

"The masks that we wear
and the lies that we share
are the reasons we cry for everything
and the reasons we cry for nothing."

That was great!! Keep up the great work!!

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