Teen Poetry #4 |
Dreaming |
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Aroma of a summer's breath Caresses me with touch so fair A shelter from the life I've left A living wind so light, so bare She dances 'round the memories That never found their resting place A haven from the night and dark A growing strand of beauty's grace Her calming rhythm pulses deep And finds its home within my soul A refuge hiding from the storms A dreaming land where I am whole |
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© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
WOW!!!!!!! AWESOME! Jeff |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WOoooooooooOW!! i really thought this was an amazing poem carly!!!!!!!!! when r u goin stop amazing me... i loved this as i always enjoy all ur poem.. keep writing.. WOOooooW..hehe i really liked it ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
She never stops Albert, She is a machine. Raw talent all over the place. Great job here carly... keep it up Jason |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I have read better from you Carly, but I expect only the best from you. You being my wittle sis and all I have nothing but the highest expectations for you. That kind of brings me off when I see a poem that is not up to your full capability. I think you do the same for me hehe.....but anyway the poem was GRRRRRREAT! I really did like you. You write well....VERY well. Better than I ever did at your age. You will become great... I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this a whole lot. The descriptions are wonderful.. these are beautiful thoughts. Nicely done, Carly! I enjoyed this. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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sinfully_seductive Junior Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 31 |
i really like this poem. same-sex couples are like kama sutra - beautiful but misunderstood! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"A refuge hiding from the storms A dreaming land where I am whole" Dreams are beautiful places that you lose yourself in, and your poem describes this beautifully. You know, I dream about being able to write this beautifully someday... "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
OUCH harsh dopey lol...j.p but this was an awsome poem... (no matter what javi says) i liked it alot~~ Great Read *KiM* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Not your best Carly. Like Dopey said, I too expect nothing but the best from you. I think you laxed a bit on this one. I thought it was a little flat. Meaning to say, I didn't see the emotion in this one. Sorry if I'm being a little too harsh, but you being one of my favorite poets(yes you are in the same list as Shakespeare, Cummings, Browning, etc...), I expect nothing but your best Now, you know how much respect I have for your writing, give us your best so we may learn from it, and become better as poets "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-02-2001).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This was really good Carly... even if it is not the best it is excellent. Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks so much for the honesty guys, it means a lot. "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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