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Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2001-04-30 10:01 PM

Aroma of a summer's breath
Caresses me with touch so fair
A shelter from the life I've left
A living wind so light, so bare

She dances 'round the memories
That never found their resting place
A haven from the night and dark
A growing strand of beauty's grace

Her calming rhythm pulses deep
And finds its home within my soul
A refuge hiding from the storms
A dreaming land where I am whole

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

1 posted 2001-04-30 10:02 PM

WOW!!!!!!!
AWESOME!

Jeff

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-30 10:54 PM

WOoooooooooOW!!

i really thought this was an amazing poem carly!!!!!!!!!
when r u goin stop amazing me...
i loved this as i always enjoy all ur poem..
keep writing..
WOOooooW..hehe i really liked it

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

3 posted 2001-04-30 10:58 PM

She never stops Albert, She is a machine. Raw talent all over the place. Great job here carly... keep it up
Jason

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-04-30 11:07 PM

I have read better from you Carly, but I expect only the best from you. You being my wittle sis and all I have nothing but the highest expectations for you. That kind of brings me off when I see a poem that is not up to your full capability. I think you do the same for me hehe.....but anyway the poem was GRRRRRREAT! I really did like you. You write well....VERY well. Better than I ever did at your age. You will become great...

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-05-01 02:11 PM

I like this a whole lot. The descriptions are wonderful.. these are beautiful thoughts.
Nicely done, Carly! I enjoyed this.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

sinfully_seductive
Junior Member

since 2000-11-13

Posts 31

6 posted 2001-05-01 05:15 PM

i really like this poem.

same-sex couples are like kama sutra - beautiful but misunderstood!

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

7 posted 2001-05-01 05:44 PM

"A refuge hiding from the storms
A dreaming land where I am whole"

Dreams are beautiful places that you lose yourself in, and your poem describes this beautifully. You know, I dream about being able to write this beautifully someday...

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

8 posted 2001-05-01 08:46 PM

OUCH harsh dopey lol...j.p but this was an awsome poem... (no matter what javi says) i liked it alot~~ Great Read
*KiM*

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-05-02 01:42 PM

Not your best Carly. Like Dopey said, I too expect nothing but the best from you. I think you laxed a bit on this one. I thought it was a little flat. Meaning to say, I didn't see the emotion in this one. Sorry if I'm being a little too harsh, but you being one of my favorite poets(yes you are in the same list as Shakespeare, Cummings, Browning, etc...), I expect nothing but your best

Now, you know how much respect I have for your writing, give us your best so we may learn from it, and become better as poets

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-02-2001).]

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

10 posted 2001-05-02 02:38 PM

This was really good Carly... even if it is not the best it is excellent.

Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: [email protected]

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

11 posted 2001-05-02 05:33 PM

Thanks so much for the honesty guys, it means a lot.

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran

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