Teen Poetry #4 |
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Dreaming |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI ![]() |
Aroma of a summer's breath Caresses me with touch so fair A shelter from the life I've left A living wind so light, so bare She dances 'round the memories That never found their resting place A haven from the night and dark A growing strand of beauty's grace Her calming rhythm pulses deep And finds its home within my soul A refuge hiding from the storms A dreaming land where I am whole |
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© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
JBaker515![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
WOW!!!!!!! AWESOME! ![]() Jeff |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WOoooooooooOW!! ![]() i really thought this was an amazing poem carly!!!!!!!!! when r u goin stop amazing me... i loved this as i always enjoy all ur poem.. keep writing.. WOOooooW..hehe i really liked it ![]() ![]() if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
She never stops Albert, She is a machine. Raw talent all over the place. Great job here carly... keep it up Jason |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I have read better from you Carly, but I expect only the best from you. You being my wittle sis and all I have nothing but the highest expectations for you. That kind of brings me off when I see a poem that is not up to your full capability. I think you do the same for me hehe.....but anyway the poem was GRRRRRREAT! I really did like you. You write well....VERY well. Better than I ever did at your age. You will become great... ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this a whole lot. The descriptions are wonderful.. these are beautiful thoughts. Nicely done, Carly! I enjoyed this. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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sinfully_seductive Junior Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 31 |
i really like this poem. same-sex couples are like kama sutra - beautiful but misunderstood! |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"A refuge hiding from the storms A dreaming land where I am whole" Dreams are beautiful places that you lose yourself in, and your poem describes this beautifully. You know, I dream about being able to write this beautifully someday... ![]() "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
OUCH harsh dopey lol...j.p but this was an awsome poem... (no matter what javi says) i liked it alot~~ Great Read *KiM* |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Not your best Carly. Like Dopey said, I too expect nothing but the best from you. I think you laxed a bit on this one. I thought it was a little flat. Meaning to say, I didn't see the emotion in this one. Sorry if I'm being a little too harsh, but you being one of my favorite poets(yes you are in the same list as Shakespeare, Cummings, Browning, etc...), I expect nothing but your best ![]() Now, you know how much respect I have for your writing, give us your best so we may learn from it, and become better as poets ![]() "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-02-2001).] |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This was really good Carly... even if it is not the best it is excellent. ![]() Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks so much for the honesty guys, it means a lot. ![]() "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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