Teen Poetry #4 |
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Emptiness |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl ![]() |
All you told me, Turned out false. Traits you claimed, Just empty promises. Completely different, From what I knew. What seemed so unique, Never more ordinary. Somehow changed, Now gone astray... What was special and beautiful, Just a new-found emptiness. I haven't been posting in a while... so I figured I'd put something together... not my best, but oh well... hope you like it. |
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© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
This is hard hitting...I liked it very much ![]() |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked this poem... this showed some thoughts of yours in a different way.. this is a sad thing that happens... which a heart that was true turns to be a lie that has faded after a love that existed and you explained it nicely... great job on the poem jenn and keep writing ![]() ![]() if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
To be honest, Jenn, I really did enjoy this a great deal. Short couplets really drew me in, improved the impact a great deal. Each word couplet me like a razor edge, there is a great deal of power to this poem. I honestly did enjoy it a lot. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Much enjoyed Jenn, I'm glad your posting more again. I like the last couplet the best but each one was great ~Jason |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Pretty to the point in style. Good format, and an overall good poem. Very hard hitting message. Threw me off my seat....well not literally, but hey ![]() ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The style of this poem really added to what you were trying to say. I like that.. very nice job. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Not bad Jenn...Straight to the point. Sometimes that's what makes a poem great ![]() "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
great poem Jenn. I would write more, but my hand hurts, so see ya around. ![]() I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't. |
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