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Teen Poetry #4
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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
i'll shed no tears for you. you are already forgotten. you do not exist to me. you are nothing. you are just my history...my past for ill shed no tears for you... ill just slowly die inside |
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| © Copyright 2001 broken wing - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this was sad... but very true in my opinion.. hope things work out for you in the best nice job on the poem... and keep writing   ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
oh thats a really good one!!!! such a bitter-sweet ending. 2Good |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yes, the ending was very good. One critique I can think of would be to remove the word "for" from the second to last line, it didn't seem like it belonged. Just my opinion. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very sad here. I enjoyed the poem, but hope things improve in your life.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very bitter emotions.. I liked this. There was lots of power in the poem despite the length. Nice work. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Ouch...really sad hope thing get better though keep your head up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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