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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-04-29 02:08 AM


im standing in a creek bed
pants rolled up to my knees
winds tangling up my hair
water running over my feet

im looking up at the sun
seeing nothing but light spots
feeling the warmth on my face
and the coolness on my feet

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
1 posted 2001-04-29 02:18 AM


I miss being a kid. Good poem, it brought back some old memories.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-04-29 03:03 AM


I don't miss being a kid... I'd eat anything...  
Wonderful job.  I like how the ending sort of trails off... it seems like this was the kind of poem you'd write for a while and then just realize it is done.  I have a few of those.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-29 06:01 PM


Very serene mood to this one. It relaxed me.
*sigh*.....

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-30 12:21 PM


*hands Javier a glass of water*
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-04-30 11:48 AM


Tiffy girl   I must still be a kid-o then!   I liked this very much! every summer, we go to a creek out in the woods, close to our house and swim and play in the water....I can't wait till we go this year   thanks for reminding me it's almost time    SEA
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-09 12:20 PM


Very serene and beautiful read
you did excellent
I love it
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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