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Teen Poetry #4
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>>>>The Powers That Be<<<< (New writing style for me, so any comments are wanted!)
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Archives
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Teen Poetry #4
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>>>>The Powers That Be<<<< (New writing style for me, so any comments are wanted!)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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>>>>The Powers That Be<<<< (New writing style for me, so any comments are wanted!) |
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Virgil Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
We Powers That Be At rounded tables, in leather chairs; We are troubled, with many prayers. Fate does come, knocks at the door; Are we prepared? Were we before? If this chance we do not take Put we our lives up at stake? We cannot! How can one weigh it? Can we get the Young to slay it? Our feelings mixed, no clear course They nor us hold true remorse. Maps and coffee, power surplused; New maneuvers, tactics discussed. Could the nation upstand the burden? Or will the Young stand up and bolden? We cannot! How can one weigh it? How could we stand whilst we are split? Talks are talked, and meetings met; Discussions had, deadlines set. Conclusions are drawn, anxieties come; Second-guess ourselves, we turn to the Young- We set the course, we just mold abstraction. The Young are there! To them the action! We cannot! How can one weigh it? If Death should toll - we shall not pay it. [This message has been edited by Virgil (edited 01-20-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Joe Longpre - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was great. The ending was wonderful. I loved it. I think the style is nice cept for a few changes within the flow at certain points in the poem. Kinda threw me off a bit, but the whole thing in general along with the message is great. Nice one here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow.. this is an amazing piece. I love this style. There are a few flaws, like Dopey said, but overall, it was great. I also love the idea your project in this piece. You do a great job of honoring the name you share with the great poet. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
I think this was well written, but while I would like to say I understand... I don't... I mean normaly even if I am wrong I convince myself that I know what your taking about.... but if you wouldn't mind explaining a bit I think I could apreciate it a lot more.... however as I said it was well written... and I think if I knew the under lying ideas I would really like it. |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i have to say this is a great poem no matter if it is your first time using the style or not...and you should strive to perfect it...so on you go "It's better to burn out then fade away" |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
awesome... it suits you well, almost as good as a yellow polka dot bikini that she wore for the first time today(or something) nice one!! ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Virgil Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
Ok Supertone, I'll try and explain it, even though I believe that anyone can see poetry as anything at all... To me this poem is about the men who decide where and when a nation goes to war, and yet when it comes time to fight that war, they are the last people that would ever fight...usually it's the younger people who get killed for a cause they barely understand. That's what I had in mind for this poem when I wrote it, but it could be seen any way you like! "By other ways, by other ferries, not here, shalt thou pass over: a lighter boat must carry thee." "I AM CANADIAN!!" |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
haha, ok sorry I thought you were being metaphoric. hah OK but yeah I get what the poems' about now. But I like ot know a poem from the poet's point of veiw as well. Personaly I hope no one takes one of my poems to mean something that it isn't ment to be other wise someone could feel hurt or they could have a very wrong idea. |
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Virgil Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
No, I don't think I do metaphoricnessacality...or whatever very well...so my poems generally mean what they seem to mean. But it's interesting to see what other people think your poems mean...sometimes you get an unexpected answer!! "By other ways, by other ferries, not here, shalt thou pass over: a lighter boat must carry thee." "I AM CANADIAN!!" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like this style and poem Virgil, great job on it. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i love the syle i too though it was metaphoric at first but in the end, my thoughs were almost that of what your poem is actually about i thought the poem was about "older men making decisions in life at the expense of the young" thanks for the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Archives
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Teen Poetry #4
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>>>>The Powers That Be<<<< (New writing style for me, so any comments are wanted!)
