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Tears Shine Through
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Tears Shine Through |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Before we begin the poem, I have one thing to say. Never forget this, Never be fooled by a smile, As a persons head turns away. Because the grass is always greener, On the other side. People never choose to reveal, What they live to hide. What makes you cry, My dear friend? When inside of you, Did this saddness begin? Was it always there, But never shown through. Or am i oblivious, To the messages being sent by you? I always thought you were happy, Care free and living life. I never thought so many tears, Fell in the night. Please dont let me see, A vision of myself in you. Your suppose to be the stronger half, Im the one whose meant to be blue. I'd do anything, Just to heal your pain. I guess no one can decode, Your crying in vain. You hide it all so well, Everyone thinks your lucky you know. But you tricked us all, You allowed so little of you to show. But i saw through you, Being your best friend. I saw whats inside of you, And that unhappy trend. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
oh, that was good. Very sad, but good. Keep 'em comin!font> *TiMMYBoY* Yeah, that's me. The Weird One. [This message has been edited by MindlessPoet (edited 04-23-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome...i really liked this one.. this is a topic of subject i would write a poem on which i think i did hehe anyway...i totally related to that one as if u were that best friend and i was the other...thanks for sharing   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is good, I like how the first stanza prepared the reader for the rest of the poem. However, you seem to have trouble with the homynym "your" and "you're." Take a look at this.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Bishop Junior Member
since 2001-04-22
Posts 30Nottingham, England |
Very good, very sad. Keep it up ^*Bishop*^ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Quite the sad one....but very good.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was a good poem. I really like the way you began "Before I begin the poem..." Nice work. I enjoyed this. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This one was excellent. I know what you are talking about. Sometimes, you ask to see a part of people that you really dont want to, or they want to see a part of you. Well, anyways, great poem! *~*Amanda*~* |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Nicely done. I liked this one alot. |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
very nice!! i liked it very much. keep it up!! lots of love, dana |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this strikes a cord with me.....very well done SEA |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
I can relate a lot to your poem because often people try to look to me to be happy to keep them happy and it's hard.I'm not aloud to be sad or angry and just once I wish people could see that.But anyway this is a great peom and keep up the awsome work! Lauren |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you all so much for your replies!! Lauren--A lot of times i too feel that i cant have problems or be sad about it...i just get told "oh get over it" and my problems are immediately minimized. Dont worry gurl ur not alone..and u can ALWAYS talk to me Allan--thanks for pointing that out to me but honestly i dont really care about grammar...i write how i write and it just flows...perfection does not exist in anything..why make an acception for poems?? But thank you for pointing that out And thanks everyone else whose related to this or has read it!! Im glad you all liked it!! <3 Michele |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Your first stanza was excellent... the rest of it is great of course... Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Very powerful!!! Exellent poem keep them coming Until your next -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
That was really sad. Good though too. I liked the introduction. Until next time Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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