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Teen Poetry #4
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UnNeeded
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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UnNeeded |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Hey, this is another old one, please tell me what you think!! I've slowly come to realize, what with all my prayers unheeded, that this vile world shall pass me by that my presence is not needed. If I tried to stand very still and disconnect my mind from earth, it would go on fine without me ~ which makes me question my self worth. Does anyone really notice my sanity is on the breaks, I might take a step up though If only to raise the stakes. I can not do anything right. I seem to always cause more pain. Maybe I should just end it all and begin all over again. Would this gelid, foul world miss me, would society even care, would my absence go unobserved would you notice I wasn't there? I've slowly come to realize, with all my prayers unheeded, that this vile world shall pass me by that my presence is not needed. ~ali 2Good |
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| © Copyright 2001 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
I thought this poem was cool. Nice work. ~Sabriel |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
yes u r needed if u still need ask. i think we are all here for a reason. and that ur death would make and empact not that u should if u still feel that way. sorta sad so no worryz be happy dance with the ogga chucka baby   hee hee hee sorry thinks this baby tis cute |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Ah, we meet again.  You like critiques... well I've looked over this one and I see not really any profoundly important points to make.  When I read this through it seemed like a less rhythmic poem and more of a poem you read in your head. I didn't find it needed any rhythm, so it all rhymes fine and I don't see much to expand upon. Excellent job! I enjoyed it a great deal. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I enjoyed this a lot! The flow was nice, and the theme was very well done. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I really liked this one. Great job on it. I think everyone at some point in there life asks that question..."Why the heck am I even here?" Keep 'em coming!! Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
This poem was well-written, and had a good theme. Keep postin! *TiMMYBoY* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
*thanks GOD* for not makin this in2 another critque thread  hehe...yea tho this poem was much enjoyed by me once again keep writing  ..?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well hey i thought that the flow was great. I liked the poem a lot......now the topic....naaaaa..very negative feelings in here toward yourself. Didn't like that part....but i did like the poem. You did well.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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