Teen Poetry #4 |
Stars |
DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
I stumble in the darkness Everywhere I turn Every step I take Leads to a path darker than the one traveled before I scream but they only hear a whisper I cry they laugh I fall they fly The hurt inside leaves me with melancholy thoughts of death It’s unbearable But I’m told when darkness falls and there is no hope left inside The stars shine And I’ll be shinning with those stars someday never knock on deaths door and run......he hates that!! |
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© Copyright 2001 Kat - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
jennifer.. i really liked this one it was dark and at the end where u gave the poem hope.. great job and also a very good first post.. keep writing ohh...yea WELCOME to PASSIONS hope u stay and keep posting ur poems,replying...and read.. byee |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Stars rock. yes, yes they do. I really enjoyed this...very much...Hope to see ya round more! Enjoy the place!! ~Carly There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
hey new person.. Welcome to Passions (I still say that sounds funny) I liked yuor poem... esp the ending *TiMMYBoY* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this a lot. Welcome to Passions! I hope you enjoy your stay here in this beautiful realm of poetry. Hope to see you more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
welcome to passions hun!!! great first poem and like they said..the end gives everything hope..ya know??? good job, hope to see more of ur work *KiM* " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
o i like! tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice critique message. Also, nice poem. It brings a lot of attention to your username. Welcome to Passions in Poetry. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
great job and Welcome to Passions!! -=We often get hurt when we trust someone we want them to be instead of who they really are=- |
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orange()alligator Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21 |
hey this was kool, short but kool. good job. -bergundy- |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions! Very nice first post. I look forward to reading more. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions!! This is a wonderful first post. There's nothing like looking up at the stars, is there? I'm sure you'll join their number! Thanks for sharing. PS-check your e-mail "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Heyyy great first post!! And WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! This is a great place so I hope you do enjoy reading and sharng you own work too. Your first post has shown me that you will defenitely be an asset to this place. I'm impressed already. Thanks for sharing and I hope to see more "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Oooo! That one raised an eyebrow! Nobody does that! Very cool poem, keep posting No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Welcome to Passions!! I just came across this post, so sorry I didn't post a reply earlier...This is great, I really like it. As for those stars, if you find the right one and wish on it, maybe things will get better..Good luck, and good job on this. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Welcome to passions!! sorry i'm a little late on this, i was away for a while. i really liked the stanzas in this piece and i think you did an excellent job on it. i look forward to reading lots more of your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hi! i just read it again and this is jus an awesome poem.. keep writing..hehe ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
thanks everyone you're all sweet never knock on deaths door and run......he hates that!! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
*bump*...page one this was an awesome poem...even tho i replyed like a lot...hehe ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!! |
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