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Teen Poetry #4
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as heaven cries (as my heart cries)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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as heaven cries (as my heart cries) |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i know this poem ain't great or good..u know? but this is what exactly happened that day it rained and i decided to write a quick poem on it as i wrote it it kinda related to my life so i kinda putted it in the poem as u'll see..hope u get it sorry if its confusin  outside rain falls silently from the skies above covered by dark clouds hidden from light but the rain that came for awile seem to have stopped for a moment to let the sun come thru which the sunlight came to brighten the skies of dark heaven but as i watch the sun as it seems to dissapear again as the dark clouds came over not letting the sun to view the world full of darkness which i believe this was the tears from the skies above, as heaven cries jan 26 this poem is what i call.."truth & reality" poem thats how it really rained so..yea i wrote this a loooooooooooooooooooong time ago(well..not really) but anyways... but i jus found it in a past poetry folder so here it is.. and i knoe this poem kinda suks cuz after i wrote this i was gonna throw it away but jus kepted it so dont go krazy on me...i'll post better poems  here u go ALLAN took out the brackets lol  death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins  ...?[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow that was just a lil bit confussing, but good theme ya know...and a very interesting way of writing...overall i liked it... *KiM* " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
thanks! for ur awesome quickest reply  3 minutes  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, I think this would be awesome if you'd take the time to remove the words in brackets. It kinda ruined the feel for me to be honest.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
okaaaaay  ....i did it... so reply later k? latez lol  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is pretty good... not the best I've seen from you.. but I think it would do you some good to have more line breaks. Just a suggestion, it might help somewhat. Nice job, just the same, I enjoyed the read, as always --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WOW!!! Just out of the blue and you came up with a poem like this. Magnificent. I enjoyed each word of each line. ~*applauds*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
ohh yea... i took out the definition of each word as i left them in a bracket.. but "allan" didn't get to feel the poem so i took it out lol ..but i'll jus put it here the part where i said bout"truth and reality" part so u'll knoe wat i'm takin bout ......k! as heaven cries = as my heart cries rain =tears skies = me dark clouds = pain, sadness, suffer etc.. light = happiness,prosper sun = inside hope sunlight = inside hidden light brighten = clear dark heaven = scared heart this is actually what was happenening as i was lookin out the window as i wrote this.. nature and emotion compelled thru poetry hope it helped a little 2 understand wat i did...cyadeath is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this poem greatly. Thanks for posting it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
nice peom keep writing ab *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Well I happend to think it was good. I know you can do better but its still good. Until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
I liked it. Great poem especially when you just came up with it like that. Keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I found it a little confusing, but not much. I liked it though. It reminded me of my user name. Thanks for the great read! *~*Amanda*~* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hehe...thanks for all ur comments.. its great that u guys still replying to this poem..byeee....cya ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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