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anonymous albert ?
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0 posted 2001-04-20 05:48 PM


i know this poem ain't great or good..u know? but this is what exactly happened that day it rained and i decided to write a quick poem on it as i wrote it it kinda related to my life so i kinda putted it in the poem as u'll see..hope u get it
sorry if its confusin

outside rain falls silently from the skies above
covered by dark clouds hidden from light
but the rain that came for awile
seem to have stopped for a moment to let the sun come thru
which the sunlight came to brighten the skies of dark heaven
but as i watch the sun
as it seems to dissapear again as the dark clouds came over
not letting the sun to view the world full of darkness
which i believe this was
the tears from the skies above, as heaven cries

jan 26

this poem is what i call.."truth & reality" poem
thats how it really rained so..yea i wrote this a loooooooooooooooooooong time ago(well..not really) but anyways... but i jus found it in a past poetry folder so here it is..
and i knoe this poem kinda suks cuz after i wrote this i was gonna throw it away but jus kepted it so dont go krazy on me...i'll post better poems


here u go ALLAN took out the brackets lol



death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins
...?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved
lonely*soul
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since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
1 posted 2001-04-20 05:51 PM


wow  that was just a lil bit confussing, but good theme ya know...and a very interesting way of writing...overall i liked it...

       *KiM*

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

anonymous albert ?
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2 posted 2001-04-20 06:07 PM


thanks!
for ur awesome quickest reply
3 minutes

...?


death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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3 posted 2001-04-20 08:18 PM


Hey, I think this would be awesome if you'd take the time to remove the words in brackets.  It kinda ruined the feel for me to be honest.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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4 posted 2001-04-20 08:34 PM


okaaaaay ....
i did it...
so reply later k?
latez
lol

Fading Away
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5 posted 2001-04-20 10:54 PM


This is pretty good... not the best I've seen from you.. but I think it would do you some good to have more line breaks.  
Just a suggestion, it might help somewhat.
Nice job, just the same, I enjoyed the read, as always  

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies
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Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-04-20 11:32 PM


WOW!!!  Just out of the blue and you came up with a poem like this.  Magnificent.  I enjoyed each word of each line.  ~*applauds*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

anonymous albert ?
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7 posted 2001-04-21 12:42 PM


ohh yea... i took out the definition of each word as i left them in a bracket..
but "allan" didn't get to feel the poem so i took it out lol ..
but i'll jus put it here the part where i said bout"truth and reality"
part so u'll knoe wat i'm takin bout ......

k!

as heaven cries = as my heart cries
rain =tears
skies = me
dark clouds = pain, sadness, suffer etc..
light = happiness,prosper
sun = inside hope
sunlight = inside hidden light
brighten = clear
dark heaven = scared heart

this is actually what was happenening as i was lookin out the window as i wrote this..
nature and emotion compelled thru poetry hope it helped a little 2 understand wat i did...cya


death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-21-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-04-21 01:47 AM


I liked this poem greatly.
Thanks for posting it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Angel Bee
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since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
9 posted 2001-04-21 04:32 PM


nice peom keep writing
ab

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
10 posted 2001-04-21 05:16 PM


Hey,

      Well I happend to think it was good. I know you can do better but its still good. Until your next poem

         -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Chel
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since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
11 posted 2001-04-25 06:00 PM


I liked it.  Great poem especially when you just came up with it like that.  Keep up the great work.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front."
"You are special and unique in your own way." "Always remember compliments you received; forget about the rude

Heavens Tears
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12 posted 2001-04-25 07:07 PM


I found it a little confusing, but not much.  I liked it though.  It reminded me of my user name.  Thanks for the great read!

*~*Amanda*~*

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

anonymous albert ?
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13 posted 2001-04-25 07:08 PM


hehe...thanks for all ur comments..
its great that u guys still replying to this poem..byeee....cya

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

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