Teen Poetry #4 |
![]() ![]() |
Could it Ever Be? |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Rach813 Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 30Maine |
I walk by you and you look at me, But a love like ours will never be, I don't even know your name, Life without you will never be the same. There's so many things that I want to say, But everytime you just walk away, We'll never be together, So I'll be dreaming of forever. Dreaming for the day when you will say, I will love you in every way, But I know we will never be, Together forever, just you and me.... |
||
© Copyright 2001 Rachel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Ohh... this one got to me quite a bit... very emotional. I love what you described here, it's just so sorrowful of a concept. I think, personally, this is the best poem I've read by you. It has a great sense of power. ![]() ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I really like this. You portrayed a lot of emotion here... enough to make me want to go back and read a few times through. I really like the flow, as well. Much improved from some of the others you've posted today. I enjoyed the read. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'm just wondering now who this person is. Yes, as the others already have said, you did express so much emotion on this particular piece. very good Rach..... This was an excellent write. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
I like the poem and the emotion in it. I'm glad I was referred to this site ![]() *TiMMYBoY* |
||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow, this was great. I truly enjoyed this one. VERY good! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
emotions were portrayed very good.. this poem is definitly one of ur best... keep writing ![]() ![]() death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
||
Rach813 Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 30Maine |
Well writing this poem I had a certain someone that I gave my heart to in mind and all he really did was take my heart and used me! Thats what I was thinking about ![]() Thanks for all the good comments on this poem tho! ![]() Never let someone see you frowning, you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile :) |
||
Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
I thought that this was sweet. I liked it. Good luck w/ whoever this is written about. I know how it goes too! Anyway, good luck and keep writing! ~ab~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |