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Scarred
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Scarred |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... 
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ok this is really very bad..i want you guys to go at it like mad! Huddling against the wall Crushed and burning Insides shattered by Force. The worlds spinning around Colour and images Words spitting out vehemently Acrid. Covering shoulders,face-breast Stinging heart Burned, scarred and judged beyond Repair. Stolen innocence Raped and ravaged Gone forever because you made it So. "Life is not long and boring, it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto- [This message has been edited by cherish (edited 04-20-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 cherish - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked the poem..but u described a situation that i hope u haven't gone thru..i feel bad that so many gurls has been or go thru this kind of thing  but if u did also i'm very sorry to hear as i wish the best for u...   ...?[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-20-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Aw Cherish, this is one horrible incident. You ok? I hope so. I enjoyed the poem HEAPS! hehehe  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Great poem! I enjoyed it! Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I really like the form, I thought it was original. In fact, I thought it was brilliant... maybe rewrite it with a rhyme scheme as well. I think it would look marvelous if, in each stanza, the three lines to precede the ending word all rhymed with one another. Well done. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
thanx for your comments guys..its helps a lot.  i cant believe you liked my format!!..heheh..i thought that that was one of my fallouts...but yeah i dont know how to ryhme my poems very well...i sorta just talk my way through them. unfortunately i have to say that i HAVE been through it...but yes i have put it all behind me now..im ok javvie and AA..thanx for asking..  "Life is not long and boring, |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
Bebe, This is really horrific! It makes me angry with a certain someone very much indeed. If you need to talk a bit more you know where to find me babe. About the poem-it made me too angry to actually like it. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hmm...there is more to this piece than meets the eye and it has me very angry all of a sudden. Ever need to talk? Dial 1-800 - Elizabeth  The piece itself was very powerful with a lot of emotion running through it. Keep smiling chicky. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I can't believe I missed this one... wow. This is kind of crushing, very heavy and saddening but it is such a brilliant write. |
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