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Teen Poetry #4
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The Dance
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The Dance |
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
The Dance The winter ball had finally come, After many months of waiting. He had finally hooked her love, After many years of baiting. They danced for what seemed like forever, Around that hardwood floor. They held each other nice and tight, Finally they realized-of each other they adore. They slowly danced the night away, Until it was time to leave. He slowly leaned in and kissed her goodnight, For he was her Adam and she was his eve. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Angelina - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
I think this is my best so far, so tell me what you think. sabriel |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey i really liked this..kinda reminds me of sumthing  but great poem..and i dunno if ive read much of your work so i really cant compare..but good job!!!*~KiM~* " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
this was nice :o) keep writing ~AB~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I liked this poem and I really liked the ending. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Ouch That's it!!!....I'm going to search for all your poems "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
WOw......wow this was really great. The ending hit me like a ton of bricks with a fragrance of roses....such a sweet hit...hehe nicely done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a great poem! I really enjoyed the last line, it made the whole poem very nice. nicely done! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Good job on this! I really like how you repeated portions of the starts of some lines, like "after many months of" and just the word "slowly." This was a wonderful idea. Good job on the poem! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I'm with everyone else, i really liked the way you ended this piece. the images you created with this were great, and you put a lot of feeling into this poem. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Awww... How sweet. I really liked this one. Keep it up. *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
Thanks everyone! i enjoyed writing this poem.Glad you liked it !Sabriel |
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
Thanks everyone! i enjoyed writing this poem.Glad you liked it !Sabriel |
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