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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677
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One night in a dream I find myself Calling out to a lost and lonely girl Who I somehow know is searching But for what? I feel the pain of this girl And it rips my heart in two To see this child aching for love Her eyes lack the sparkle that most childrens display Her lips miss that smile Her life lacks something Something so significant That loosing it has made her loose hope, loose strength, loose spirit And I realize this girl looks all too familiar And I know exactly what she is looking for... *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Heavens Tears - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I know this one girl that has something missing in her life as well and by reading this poem it made me think of her. Nice work on this poem.  Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I've really liked the last couple of poems that you've posted, you've been doing some really excellent work. keep posting your poetry. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Wow, that was kinda deep. Was the girl you? Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Rach813 Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 30Maine |
This is a really good but sad poem. Keep up the good work |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
I thought you're poem was good :o) Keep writing ~AB~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this. Very good poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I have a tendency to write from outside looking in, that is, not from my perspective. I think that will answer your question. *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a well written piece. I enjoyed it. Nicely done, and keep posting. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Loose = Not tight-fitting or tightly fitted Lose = To come to be deprived of the ownership, care, or control of (something one has had), as by negligence, accident, or theft. I was pretty sure you made a spelling error, but there's no real way in my mind to be sure... it's the nature of poetry.  Maybe clear this up a bit? Onto the poem, I really liked the sense of a sorrowful, distraught child that you made here. It's very sad, excellent job. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Sorry Allan. You had to correct 2 of my poems. I just like that extra "o" I guess. LOL. Ill fix it later. *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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