Nothing I can do. - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

0 posted 2001-04-17 04:52 PM

Flaming hot tears,
Streak down my face,
They burn,
They wet my eye.
These tears keep coming,
And I don't know why....

I guess because I love you.
As the stormt rain,
Crashes against my house,
I start to wonder,
Do you love me too?
I can't stop how I feel.
I'm in love with you,
And there's nothing I can do.
You and only you.
All of who I love.
It's all for you.
You.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2001-04-17 05:39 PM

Hey great job on this...you showed your emotions well.

~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

2 posted 2001-04-17 07:05 PM

Thank you. My emotions asnd feelings are one inspiration to me.
Sabriel

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

3 posted 2001-04-17 07:45 PM

Beautifully written, Sabriel. Can't tell you how many times I've had that very scene take place in my life...*sigh*. Now before I get all emotional...lol...

Wonderful poem.

"...if you want love you must be love.."
Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-17 10:18 PM

I think the rhyme scheme is very inconsistent in this one. Maybe you could work on that. Other than that, this is a beautiful poem, you expressed yourself very well. I can't wait to read more. Nice job.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-17 11:34 PM

I liked it. Thought you did great.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

6 posted 2001-04-17 11:37 PM

Thats such a sad but sweet poem, I liked it alot.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.