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Derek's Fists
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Derek's Fists |
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Mysteria-Foxx Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 11 |
I opened the door to a cold room, or maybe it was only cold 'cause my clothes were wet There was a bit of moonlight coming into the dingy room emphasizing the ugly carpet and beaten up furniture I sat down on the bed next to Sheryl and watched as she cried for both her humiliation and her defeat She looked at me with her deep blue eyes, full of sorrow And I hugged her I knew that was all that she wanted from me I ran my hands through her tangled hair Blond hair and blue eyes with big boobs and a beautiful smile, I used to envy her He didn't hesitate to smudge her lipstick, to pull her hair, to throw her on the bed, to blame his rage on his "passion" for her I was going to murder him I always felt like the one who always had to fight but I knew she wanted me to stay with her She called me there asking me to come to the hotel and stay with her and now all she would say as I held her close, "He said he loved me" Fox Back in 97 we burned our own souls in the midst of poverty. Never learned how to keep anything clean. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Fox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
ooohh, sounds painful......well, nice poem anyway. *S* staci |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I don't know why your friend would even mention that after the situation she had been thru. That really bothers me. I hope you realize that whatever physical action towards the offending party should not even be an option at all. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow this was so powerful. I enjoyed this completely. Very raw and full of emotion. Great poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very emotion filled poem... I liked it a lot. It's powerful. Thanks for sharing.. Nicely done --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Wow. Very detailed, I could almost picture that. That's a terrible situation to be in. I really thought this was good though. Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Picture it?? I could actually touch the pain. Very good poem, very depressing subject. Keep writin. ~Carly There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
o man. "He said he loved me", the biggest and most used lie. guys use. RIght now all i feel is anger towards this boy. strangling is more honest. but hey thats just me, little young regina, who knows alot on this. Btw this was an amazing poem Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Not only guys, Regina. You should know that. Mysteria, I really enjoyed this piece... there was a lot of powerful emotion entwined. The pain is very real as well... it drew me right in.  I also liked your adjective usage in here... ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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