Beretta Blues - And The Line Goes Hot

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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-13 02:14 PM

One moment’s pressure,
One life’s erasure,
With but one shot,
The line goes hot.

One trigger pull,
One shell spent,
With one blast of the horn,
A new Gunslinger is born.

One pinpoint of light,
One bullet of might,
Go pull the trigger,
Gotta pay the gravedigger.

One moment’s pressure,
One life’s erasure,
With but one shot,
The line goes hot.

One missed shot,
One mind’s rot,
Two men fall,
Martyrs to the call.

One failed revolt,
One jammed Colt,
Why fight a war we’ll only lose?
Can’t they hear the Beretta Blues?

One moment’s pressure,
One life’s erasure,
One single shot,
And the line goes hot.

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

[This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 04-13-2001).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-04-13 02:28 PM

This poem was not your best. I liked it, but it wasn't great.
Anyhow, I hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2001-04-14 10:00 AM

Yeh, I liked it too. I like your style....its koo. Anyways, yep.

~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-04-14 10:37 AM

I also like the style in this poem. This isn't one of my favs from you, but it's still a nice poem. Good job

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-04-14 06:55 PM

I did like this one. Reminded me of Mustadio.

He rules, after enough experience as a knight. Then his gun can do ~anything.~

*cough* well aside from that..... good job on this. I did like it, even if a few people weren't blown away.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-04-17 09:22 PM

At first I thought I was gonna have to pull the poem

But it seems like you've asked a good question in this poem
thanks for sharing
and keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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