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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-04-11 06:48 PM

You left

My love for you was blind,
It slowly took over my mind.
When you stopped talking,
I called but you kept on walking.

I tried to look into your heart for love to find,
I gave you all my love, I tried to be kind.
All I found was a stone wall,
When I looked into your eyes I saw no love at all.

I don't know how you were treated,
All I know is that you were cheated.
Oh how I loved you so,
But you left with all my love in tow.

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2001-04-11 07:34 PM

hey it rythmed!!!lol. great job

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

2 posted 2001-04-11 07:38 PM

Nice one. I've felt that feeling way too many times. keep it up

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-04-11 10:15 PM

Good job on this. And yeah, it rhymed!

~Allan

Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-04-12 03:47 AM

This poem was ok. I think you have the talent in there to do much better. This is my first poem that I read from you and I see a lot of talent....I hope to read much more from you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-04-12 11:17 AM

I agree with Dopey, i think you can write much better than this. this poem wasn't bad at all, i just think that you have the talent to do more. i look forward to reading more of your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

6 posted 2001-04-12 01:51 PM

Hey,

Well I do belive you can do better I have seen it

but never the less this is a great poem and I enjoyed reading it

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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