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depression
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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depression |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
"Depression" All alone in a room No one there but me I turn the light switch on But still I cannot see My body feels numb I can almost feel nothing The one thing I can feel Is the emptiness or something My heart is a black hole Sucking everything dry The pain is so unbearable I just want to die My body is hollow There is nothing inside If I fall I may break But that is just the outside My pain comes from the emptiness The emptiness feeds off my pain I have lost control of my life I have nothing left to gain By: Dana Samples |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Well done Ms Samples!  I enjoyed every aspect of this, save for "the emptiness or something." I know it's hard to rhyme "nothing," so try re-arranging the sentence so that you have to rhyme a different word instead? Like "feel?" My piece of advice for the day.   Great job.~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is superb, Dana! Very nicely done. The flow was excellent.. I enjoyed the read. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this was amazing. this poem had a great deal of power in it. which is very kool.  Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I agree with everyone else, Dana. Your poem is superb and you talked about depression very well. Quite a clear description so that even if I didn't know from experience, I would understand your pain. I hope things become a little easier for you. (Not too easy, that would be boring.) Excellent post. I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 04-11-2001).] |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
My reply is an echo of everyone else's, this is a beautiful poem. i've enjoyed everything i've read by you, keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
*chants* Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana DANA DANA DANA DANA! hehe. Sorry, I was compelled. Great job on this one girlio. See ya in art! ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey hun, wow great job..i can soo relate!! and ya describe depression so well in this peice!! awsome job! <3 kim |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I liked your poem and I thought you described depression perfectly. "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you die." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Really great work! I enjoyed this a lot. I felt you ryhmed great and the flow was wonderful.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Depression...theres so many things i could say about it...I've been there myself and am still struggling with it so i know how you feel in many ways. Its tough..tougher than anyone who cant feel it would know..but your not alone hun. Keep on writing the poems and get your feelings out there. It helped me a little bit. If you ever need to talk E-mail me. Great job hun... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'm sorry to hear about your situation right now. If you need anyone to talk to, all of us here in Passions usually are a welcoming ear you know "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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