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Teen Poetry #4
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Mournful Gaze
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Mournful Gaze |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This is a description of the moon, which I have been able to see from my kitchen window for some time tonight, lol. Just thought it might be a good idea to capture it's rather imposing presence in a poem while I had the chance. Hope you all like it. Mournful gaze from over trees Bright and cold, the face of old Clouds attend thine own great seas Shapes of clouds, shapes of trees Mournful gaze casts all in sorrow dark... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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| © Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Actually Frac, I think this is fantastic! The altered length of the last line was brilliant! It really gave an eerie note to end the poem on, very well done! ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did great. The style wasn't of preference, but that's all a matter of opinion. The poem itself was simply great. I really enjoyed it and think you're a very talented writer.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
as the boys just said, i totally agree. Beautiful powerful poem!!! regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful description of the orb that hangs over us all at night. You have a wonderful way with words, and I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This poem really impressed me, frac! After I read it, I sat there imagining what the poem said... it was great! Excellent job! --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Excellent post my friend. I think this is the first time I've read a poem of yours that's not about war  Thanks for sharing. Keep it up"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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