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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
invisible monsters when gravity pulls you from your high when everyone you see passes you by when you look into the mirror do you look at yourself? do you look inside yourself? do you look beside yourself? who will pick you up when you fall from grace? will they catch you before you break face? beautiful angel with the weakened wings an invisible monster when you implode in your car when rubberneckers wonder who you are when you stare down from up above do you look at yourself? do you look like yourself? are you beside yourself? are you sleeping? are you tired? are you scared that if you close your eyes then everyone will see you? are you running? are you afraid? are you ready for the world to die so you can say you’re still alive? who will pick you up when you fall from grace? will they catch you before you break face? beautiful angel with the broken wings an invisible monster your invisible monster you’re invisible... |
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| © Copyright 2001 nick bender - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This surely sounded like a good song. This poem should be a song. ANyhow I liked this a great deal. Quite impressive for a first post. Welcome to Passions!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions!  VERY nice first post! I look forward to more... --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
First of all, your screen name rules muchly. Secondly, welcome to Passions. And third, great poem. "you suck!" Ha-Ha. Not really.  I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. :) |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
"who will pick you up when you fall from grace? will they catch you before you break face?" I LOVE THAT!! Actually, I just really really love this whole poem. I hope you like it here at Passions.. cause I want to read more from you!  Great Job and take care ~Sarah It's going into the library... *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Indeed, very impressive for a first post! I especially liked how you trailed off of the thought at the end, it really did change the thought itself. I totally love this poem.  Welcome to Passions I'm sure you'll love all the time you spend in here, your talent will take right off when you find yourself immersed in such a congregation of poets! Check your email for a special greeting on behalf of all of the members of PIP.  ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WELCOME TO PASSION hope you like your stay here and good job on the poem |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Welcome to passions!! this is a great first post and it really shows that you have a lot of talent. i look forward to reading lots more in the future. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Welcome, and nice job. I hope you post some more and enjoy it here "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum? [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 04-11-2001).] |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey hun, wow this would make a really great song!! put a lil acustic in and youve got yourself a hit!! anyways, great first post! and i hope i see more of your stuff in passions <3 kim |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
I'd have to agree with the whole "this would make a good song" theory...that's one of the first things that ran through my mind when I read this. Anyhoo, wow...I REALLY loved this poem! What an awesome first post - you've really set the bar for yourself around here now! JK The ending really grabbed me for some reason...I dunno, it was just all-around wonderful. Looking forward to more.See ya around - and WELCOME! ~K~ PS - Your name alone makes u one of my new favorite people around here "Don't spoons just make you smile? My friend is more of a FORK person, the butterknife makes me cry..." -Hallucinations in Blond |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Welcome to Passions! Hope you enjoy it here. Nice job on the poem, i really liked it. Some People Laugh At Me Cause I'm Different, Well, I Laugh At Them Cause They're All The Same. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! Hope you enjoy your stay in here as we all do. I would love to see more of your work. thanks for sharing and I'd like you to know, you poem shows that you'd fit right in "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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