Teen Poetry #4 |
Rain, Tears of Heaven |
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Icy raindrops mix with tears, to fall on rocks unmoved by grief. Heaven's sorrow falls softly, a quiet echo to my silent sobs. The melancholy symphony of my thoughts plays for the lonely audience of my mind. My misery stands at odds with the brook, gurgling and chuckling with pleasue, and gaining force beneath my feet. It tugs at my toes, and tries to entice me to play. But my hand strays to the sand beside me, and the tighter i grasp the grains, the more slip through my fingers, like all my unrealized dreams. I shiver, soaked by my sadness. On a rock, near the brook, I weep with heaven. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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© Copyright 2001 Peter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Empty tears Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64 |
Wow. this was a great post, full of emotion. i really love this. Death is but an escape from loneliness |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"I shiver, soaked by my sadness. On a rock, near the brook, I weep with heaven." This poem is so beautiful... the descriptions are superb, and the emotion portrayed is excellent. This is a poem that really shows off the talent that you have and definitely deserves a place of its own in my library.. You're such a talented writer... Keep sharing your creativity with everyone because I'm sure they love it as much as I do. Very nicely done yet again, babe. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-09-2001).] |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
WOW!!! that was great!!! i love rain and have always thought that when it rains that heaven is crying. its good to know that someone feels the same way. keep it up!! lots of love, dana |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I think this was probably the best I have read from you thus far. Very nice job on this, the last line was extremely powerful. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
wowish! I thought this was amazing. Such sadness within this poem. The last line put the final impact.....BAM...right in my soul. VERY well done! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Banburycross or Peter cause you have been her for a wile this is a great poem maybe even the best of yours I have ever read I think is truly great. What they all said I agree with so I have nothing more today. Until your next masterpiece -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Woah! Great job! Full of emotion. I look forward to more of your poems! *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*BUMP* This deserves to be back up on the first page. I think everyone needs to read this one subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
yep...thanks for bringing it back up..i really didn't get to see it the first time. i read it and i did relate to it, in many ways.great poem and one of ur best poems thanks for sharing this...keep writing ...? |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
The emotion shown in this poem was great,I think, like everyone, the last line was great(it gave the full impact of the poem). Keep up this great work and keep on posting! Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
*sniffles* how...sad. This is a beautiful, if sad poem...very well done. *+*Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.~ |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, WAY OLD! haha way way old my birthday old. I am sure the new people want to read such good work though. Until whatever -- Linc "Blood Moon" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I know I already replied to this, but seeing as this is my favorite poem by you, I thought I would reply again. The imagery in this piece amazes me even more with each read-through. The way you put your thoughts down is excellent... the poem is beautiful. Your talent is amazing. It's enough to make me jealous... Wonderful work. I hope you come back and keep posting soon. We all miss you around here. Nicely done. --Marie "Imagine a pageant... |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
wow, this was aweso,. i loved it. great job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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