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Teen Poetry #4
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souls burden on hearts desire
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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souls burden on hearts desire |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hard to bear this burden over my soul i search so hard for my hearts desire to find my place in rest for this souls peace as this burden over my soul is to much for me alone to handle as affliction is always on trial against this hearts desire constantly oppressing my soul in my time in captive never leaving this soul set free from this troubled burden state as in this soul is never at rest always left to be overcome by my afflictions this breath to rise some breath to breathe as i need a breath to live cause endlessly will it come and does come is this burden over this soul as it has left buried beneath this burden is where lies my soul as a breath of freedom is desperately in need to survive jan.27 [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-07-2001).] |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is really great!! beautiful wording and imagery. excellent work and keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NIcely done.....I liked it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
This was good. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I agree with them its a great poem  -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I think this is probably your best poem, Al. I really liked the first line of the last stanza, and I can imagine that a lot of people hated it too. haha  I had to read it about five times to get it just right, very well done. Aside from that, I really like the way you separated the "heart" from the "soul." I'm a bit iffy on what each signifies, I think you'd best give us a short explanation? Thanks man, and great job! Until next our paths cross... ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
thank u all! i really appreciate all ur replys also am i glad u guys got the poem it was a poem i wrote couple of months ago that wasn't a poem i liked that much but i'm sooo glad that u guys liked it.. and allan this poem i'll leave it to the readers imagination what the true meaning of the poem was and thank u for reading it ... also thanks once again for all ur great wonderful replys. hope to hear more from others... [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-07-2001).] |
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
 *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* wonderfull, you have a really great talent! keep up the good work and keep posting babe! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
ey! is that the birdy u glued the head back on he's lookin good there eh? hehehe.. and thanks. i like that u r postin all these great poems and replys these days brings me a [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-07-2001).] |
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Empty tears Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64 |
Ooooooh i like it, i like it. Great poem ~Brittany~ Death is but an escape from loneliness |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I told you I'd get to some of your poems. This came off quite mature, and very beautiful. I liked it lots! Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
mature..really?  you think so.. well....you haven't seen nothing yet  ..hehe...i'm jus jokin'.. anyways tho.. thanks for *bumpin'* this also..ummm cya~ jenn  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
albert! this was way kewls!!!!!!! lol i really, really enjoyed it cant waits to c mores from yas! tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
VERY nicely done, Albert. These are beautiful words! Nice work.. I enjoyed this quite a bit. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is what I call a poem. Passions in Poetry redefined. ~*applauds*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
good job hun...i always love reading stuff from you..your an awsome writer..i luv this pome too... *KiMMiE* |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Wow great poem, I really like the last stanza of your poem. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sheesh guys...thanks  heh....i'm grateful....cya~ ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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